Promises & Promiscuity

One of the things that bothers me about other people is their inherent tendency to be stupid. I certainly count myself under that umbrella, but I think it's safe to say that I think things through before taking a wrong action. And while it may be unfair to demand my values of others, it shouldn't be too much to hold them to their own.

I also don't like the term "pre-marital sex." Where did the "pre" come from, anyway? As I understand it, this is society's non-judgmental way of saying, "They just did it in a different order. They make their own choices, deviated from the crowd" as if their toying with a precious and sacred concept is the equivalent of ordering from the Burger King menu. "Have it your way" has become an all-too-natural behavioral mantra.

What we should be calling it is "non-marital sex." You weren't pre married, you were non married! Of course, this too has earned liberal acceptance. And, oh my, we wouldn't want to offend someone who did it their own way.

Certainly, there are people who just don't care. They've never cared, they don't consider consequences, and they are simply entitled. They were probably raised by parent-people who also never cared and felt entitled. These people, with some exception, are a lost cause by the time they hit their upper teenage years. They've learned a lifestyle, and to teach them differently would be to deprive them of what they once had.

But then there are people that know better. They claim beliefs, both religious and ethical, and vow to stand by them. They convince friends and family of their character and complain about those that deviate from such values. And it is these people who bother me the most when they falter. To deny values is one thing. To hypocritically profess them is another entirely.

I'm sick of my religious friends shacking up. I'm sick of them acting like it's "no big deal," when in fact they have surrendered their moral foundation for the opportunity to "be in love." I'm sick of the sanctity of my marriage (flawed as it may be) being trampled by the widespread approval of someone else's semblance of one.

I'm sick of supposedly chaste girls getting pregnant in high school (or middle school, or college, or their 30's). Though pregnancy itself is not the cause of my sickness, it certainly adds to the number of people their bad decisions impact. I'm sick of young women thinking it's ok to bypass important steps. Do they realize that the life into which they're bringing their baby is not good? Do they even think about the potential consequences - to themselves and their potential children - before spreading it for their horny high school boyfriends? If so, it doesn't seem to stick.

For the religious folk, consider this: You have sex, you're married. That's how God sees it. He doesn't appreciate your methodology, but you've consummated your relationship. You don't get a party. You don't get congratulations. You don't get to wear the pretty white dress.

Except that you do. And that makes me sick.

And when you get pregnant. You don't get a shower. You don't get the adoration of little girls who call you their idol. You don't get to think about how this affects you.

Except that, once again, you do. That makes me sick, too.

But the worst part is the scarcity of regard for the sanctity of sex and life. I am a married woman. Benjamin and I were both virgins when we said "I do." As a result, we share a special bond with each other that few modern young people can claim. Don't you think we were attracted to each other while we were dating? Don't you think we had opportunities to screw around? Don't you think I want babies? Duh!

But we were responsible. Some people think that "getting lost in the moment," having to "do" your significant other right then is a sign of insatiable love that no one understands. Guess what? We do understand - all of us who have made the right choices and retained our ethical premises. Jumping into bed with your high school sweetheart isn't love, it's horniness. And caving into those feelings doesn't make your relationship special and unique, it makes your relationship common and short-sighted.

I guess this is all grounded in my selfishness. I want my responsible choices to be viewed as positive, instead of being dismissed as old-fashioned. I don't want my life to be considered unexciting. And I don't want the things that I want so much in life to be taken for granted, even found inconvenient, by those who haven't earned them.

But when I really think about it, my life is exciting. I have a husband from whom I receive safety and love. We are passionate and loving, and we share a security of which unmarried couples can only dream. So I don't have a new guy every few months, but I get to keep a pretty great one. I don't have a baby to care for, but when I do, he or she will be a cherished blessing. And when I go to sleep tonight, I know that I will be waking up next to the same man tomorrow and for years to come. That's exciting.

Women Are Retarded

In my brief moment of faith-in-human-goodness, I posted a question on Yahoo Answers. Hoping to receive some sort of positive support to my ongoing search for birth control without being man-handled (ie, traditional pelvic exam), I checked back a few hours later. As you can see from the following oh-so-educated responses, people were eager to respond. And not nicely, either. Therefore, I have a new thesis: Women are not, as we previously believed, nurturing, as a rule. They are, to a notable degree, self-sure without cause, belligerent to other women, and outright annoying. And lest there be any further attack, I lump myself in with the rest of them from time to time. Let this be my (and our) motivation to break the vicious, Women-Are-Retarded cycle.

Go to the Yahoo Answers page here! It's formatted better. Answers are open until Thursday.

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My Question
Are there doctors that offer birth control pills without a pelvic exam? I'm married & have never had a pelvic exam. I got a BC prescription from Planned Parenthood through their HOPE program, but that's only for a year. I'm coming up on the end of the prescription, and I desperately do not want a traditional exam. I feel like it would be an invasion of my privacy, and since I've only had sex with my husband (and he with me) and have no family risk factors, I see no reason for this to be a requirement.
Does anyone know of a doctor that will offer birth control without a pelvic exam? I'm belonephobic (afraid of needles), but I would rather have a blood test to check for health issues than violate my personal beliefs.
I live in north Texas, but if there's a doctor somewhere else that offers other options to women, there are probably others. Please help!

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Blondie 2442's Response
im 18 and my doctor just gave them to me without one

My Response
Thanks for the response. Knowing this let's me know that several of the below responses were ill-researched. What doofuses.


Coop <3's Response
A pap smear has nothing to do with how many people you've had sex with. It has to do with checking for irregular cells on your cervix, which are not only caused by STDs. So, guess what, you get to suck it up, and be a responsible ADULT and get yourself to a gynecologist like you should have a LONG time ago. A blood test cannot check for irregular cells on your cervix, so you've just got to go do it. If you want to be a sexually active adult, regardless of whether you're married or not, you need to be responsible for your sexual and reproductive health, or, IMO, you are not in any way ready to be sexually active, sorry. Your discomfort won't mean crap if you get cervical cancer someday, and you realize that it could have been prevented by a simple pelvic exam.

Source(s): I'm a married woman who is a STRONG advocate of women taking control of their own health, regardless of how "uncomfortable" a pelvic exam is. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-... http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-...

My Response
A pap smear has 90% to do with how many people you've had sex with!!! The #1 cause of cervical cancer is HPV, and the #1 cause of harmful HPV is through sexual contact!

I would like to challenge some of your premises, because you see so sure of yourself:
- "You get to suck it up, and be a responsible adult" - You don't get to tell me what I get to do. You get to run as fast as you can & stop commenting on my questions.
- "get your self to a gynecologist like you should have done a long time ago" - I'm 21! Back off.
- "A blood test cannot check for irregular cells on your cervix" - No, but it can check for an elevated white count, which is present if you have cancer!
- "So you've just got to go do it" - You sure think a lot of your instructions, dontcha?
- "Your discomfort won't mean crap if you get cervical cancer someday" - Sure it will. I've made a conscious choice, dumbass.
- "it could have been prevented by a simple pelvic exam" - No it can't. Cervical cancer can't even be detected fully until it's somewhat advanced. Since when did going to the doctor guarantee someone wouldn't die?

You say you're a strong advocate for women taking control of their own health. I guess what you meant to say is that you're a strong advocate of forcing your opinion about other women's health upon them, and having them let you take control of their health. It's a simple mistake, anyone could have made it.


GreenScreen451's Response
No doctor can force you to have a pelvic exam. I think most would give you the prescription without if you are adamant that you do not want the exam. It might be a good idea though, just to check that everything is alright. It's really not that bad.

My Response
You're right. This is something I wish people would consider before insisting that I am under some sort of health care dictatorship. I appreciate your advice. I will keep this in mind because you are not being a poop.


Hannah's Response
Ask a doctor or someone from a clinic whether you'll need it.! =] Where I am I didnt need one. I needed to be weighed every 6 months and asked a few questions.x

My Response
Awesome! This is very helpful.


WhitneyB's Response
Doctors are required to perform pelvic exams before administering birth control. Even if you have no family risk factors and have only had one partner, problems can still occur. I understand your wanting to protect your privacy, but many of the issues doctors look for in a pelvic exam cannot be detected with a blood test. I prefer to see a female OB/GYN. It's never comfortable for me (I too feel an invasion of privacy with the exam), but at least she is efficient and gentle. If you are truly adamant about not undergoing this exam and do not wish to conceive at this time, your best bet is to use condoms.

My Response
Well, at least you were pleasant, so I can't fault you with anything but being stupid. If I wanted to know if doctors are required to do the test, I would have put that in my question. They're not, which means that you spent too much time submitting to the system and finding someone who "is efficient and gentle" (whatever that means) instead of researching & finding a way to change the social norm. My best bet is not to use condoms. If my point is I don't want foreign crap inside of me, that includes the latex to which I am allergic.


WhoKnows?????????'s Response
first of all the doctor does the pelvic exam for your health. It doesn't have to do with the sexual parteners you have. the problem is that some people may suffer from certain conditions without knowing like endometriosis, or ovarian cysts, and when you take the birth control pills these will make them a lot worse. so the doctor does the pelvic exam for your safety. i did it, there are no needles invovled nothing, he will insert a plastic to see the inside of vagina etc. to see that there are no scarring. So if I were you i would do it, especially if you are going to take the birth control pills for a long time.

Source(s): studying to become a doctor

My Response
Wow, you're studying to become a doctor? Yesterday I was studying to become an astronaut. If you'd like me to give you some advice on launching yourself into outer space (it's "for your health") let me know. I'm just saying, I think there's a reason they give you the short coat. And yes, genius, it does have to do with how many sexual partners you've had. And I know there are no needles. And if you want to be a doctor, you still have to know how to comprehend what you read & spell correctly. If a doctor wants to amputate your leg, I'm sure he would say that's for your safety, too. You still have options. So while I appreciate the paragraph you've quoted from you're MCAT study guide, I'd appreciate it more if you would can it until you can present some irrefutable facts.


AW's Response
Suck it up. You are a big girl. Cancer and other health issues can develop at ANY time in your life even if you have NO risk factors. I just found out a friend of a friend who is 45 years old was given 2 months to live TOPS due to cancer. He had no previous problems, he had absolutely no family history of any kinds of cancers. Exams are also to prevent future problems not just know what you have done. You have a severe phobia about this. What is going to happen when you have children? Are you going to refuse to go to the doctor because you feel that a doctor looking there is an invasion of your privacy? That is disgusting, quite frankly, that you would risk the lives of possible future children along with your own.

My Response
You're just being a jerk. How do you know I'm a big girl? I'm actually a little girl who would like her mommy to punch you. I bet your friend would not have gotten cancer & would still be alive in 3 months if he had gone to his gynecologist every year before he took his birth control pills. Right? Cite relevant anecdotes only, please. If you need a support group to deal with your friend's death, don't take it out on my question. Given that you have the authority to diagnose my "severe phobia about this" (by the way, the appropriate preposition is "of") you should be able to deal with your grief without taking stage 2 out on me. Actually, except for a torn hymen a doctor can't tell what you've done. Since you seem so interested in what goes into & comes out of my vagina, my husband & I have decided to have our children at a birthing center or at home. Midwives & doctors at birthing centers allow a more natural process without the social requirements and restrictions to which you seem so attached. I prefer not to risk the lives of my "potential future children" by stabbing them with amniocentesis needles and exposing them to the HPV vaccine. Doctors say those are good, too.


ChellB's Response
All I can say it is so important to get pap/pelvic exam done. I knew a woman that waited till she was 30 to get a pap done and found out she has stage 4 cervical cancer. she is no longer living. I don't know any doc that would not do an exam first.

My Response
I appreciate your opinion. It is important to consider the potential complications of a decision such as this. After thinking about all of the harm, I've made up my mind that I would prefer to take the chance on cancer. I'm also sorry for your loss of a friend. I'm sure she didn't get to make the same conscious decision as I have.


DX's Response
Yes. While many doctors do require the pelvic exam, some will now prescribe BCP without it. Go to another Planned Parenthood, or call the one you're visiting now and explain the situation. Most PPs will give you the pills to protect yourself. If not, talk to your family doctor.

You should know that cervical cancer can affect anyone, regardless of family risk factors and can be a very nasty customer. If you're fully aware of this possibility and still don't want the full exam, try to get yourself the HPV vaccine, at least. If you're forced to take the exam to get the pills, you can also ask them to only do the Pap and test for HPV and leave out the rest.

I currently take BCP but I do not go for pelvic exams. I am NOT sexually active, have no plans to be, and I take the pill for endometriosis. I get my weight and blood pressure checked every six months to ensure everything's in order. I did get an exam two years ago--under sedation because I am an abuse survivor and it was such a traumatic experience--and was found to be fine and HPV negative, so I'm not considered to be at risk.

Source(s): current experience with BCP

My Response
I think this is the most helpful response. It came about 5 hours ago, and I would have slept a lot better had I read it last night. I won't get the HPV vaccine because I won't get any vaccine. They make you sick before they make you better. I will try another PP and hope for good results.

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How sad, that we have become so blind as to accept a medical practice simply because it has become customary.

Public Service Announcement: Little Asses

I would just like to make a blanket statement that if you want to be an ass, please be an ass to my face. I would appreciate it if your little ass could at least be a big enough ass to not be a chicken ass.

For example, if you come to the righteous conclusion that because I forgot about you and married someone else, and was so pompous as to ignore your suggestions otherwise, that I deserve to be ditched, please be so kind as to ditch me to my face.

I'm sorry that I kicked you in the balls.

I'm sorry that I had a crush on you before my frontal lobe was fully developed, and I'm sorry that it went away when that part of my brain began to grow.

I'm sorry that your attempts to convince my father to abruptly cancel my wedding failed you.

I'm sorry that my reaction to that nonsense embarrassed you.

I'm sorry that you randomly decided, almost a year later, that you would stick it to me by "unfriending" me. If you ask me, that's kindof babyish, and not a very positive reflection on you as a person. I mean, I'm certainly not prone to eliminate life-long friends because they embarrassed my ass, but I suppose your ass is a little more sensitive to being embarrassed. Maybe because it's tiny and incapable of drawing any kind of positive attention.

But then, what do I know? We're not friends anyway.

WHAT Registry?!?

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

We went to Houston this weekend to visit my family, and today we went to Macy's with my mom to start our gift registry. We went to a "Service Counter" where it looked like we were supposed to begin, and after a short wait (during which Mom offered to get their attention by casually opening the cash register) a lady came over to help us. I explained that we needed to start a gift registry, and she gave me the most unpleasantly surprised look I can imagine, and asked, "You two are getting married?" I was like, "Yes." Then she pointed us to another counter.

Later in the car, Benjamin brought it back up. He explained that the lady bugged him, and in response to her indignance (did I make up that word?) he wanted to reply, "Yes! I love her very much!"

And I know I didn't look terribly young, because Benjamin said so. Plus, I looked extra cute, and seriously marriable, and was sporting a very pretty diamond ring on the cooresponding finger. I just don't understand her amazement. Poo.

And speaking of poo, apparently Monte likes to eat cat poo, and then Chester likes to bring poo to my parents & their guests as presents. We have some very un-selfish dogs.

After we got past the Marriage Police, we got to use the spiffy little scanner to scan UPCs :) Benjamin went a little scanner-happy, and registered for 12 butter dishes...(actually, it was an accident that we made together). But I'm happy to say that we have officially registered for our wedding china & silverware. We also picked out stuff for the bathroom, but when we went to scan it, our little scanner friend rejected the entry because apparently it was on clearance...so we had to buy it today.

" time for an updateeee. <33 "

Zahra says it's time for an update. Actually, Zahra said it's time for an update 4 days ago. So here 'tis. :)

~ Mom came home Friday! It was a day later than originally planned, but we're very pleased. Thanks to everyone for all of your continued prayers. She still has a long way to go in resuming normal life, but she's well on her way!

~ I'm quitting Barnes & Noble, effective tomorrow at midnight. That's right...if we're late closing, I'm walking out at midnight. Just kidding.

~ I'll be going back to Ben & Jerry's full-time starting Monday until I go back to school.

~ Moving in exactly 5 weeks! (Actually 4 weeks & 6 days, cause I guess it's past midnight on Tuesday already :-/)

~ I don't like working with people who are hung over. If you're hung over, don't come to work. And if you do come to work, don't tell me that you're hung over. And whether you're hung over or not, do not touch me. Do not poke my back. Do not grab my shoulder. Do not slap my hand in an oh-so-playful manner. I don't know you. I don't want to randomly flirt with you. Especially when you tell me about your theories on living with someone instead of getting married, just so you can switch partners when you tire of today's project. Do not tell me I can't judge actions. I'm going to judge actions. In fact, I'm going to be so bold as to judge your actions. I shall, however, not judge you. There's a difference. Judging actions is what the entire legal system is based upon, not to mention ethics. Get some. Find yours or borrow some from a willing donor. I'm sure that if you explain to them the urgency of your situation, they will understand. That's all I have to say about that.

~ Josh & I are going to practice the Vivaldi once more, and then play in Huntsville for special music on August 5th. Whee! It's coming along quite nicely :)

~ Going back to DFW on the 22nd...probably staying until the 25th. I don't know...now that I'm not going to be working Thursday thru at least Sunday, I could just take off a couple of days after that & make the trip this weekend. That would allow me to go to my cousin's baby shower :) However, I'm gonna want a break in a week, so maybe I should wait. Argh...decisions decisions...

~ Tonight I worked 4-close (midnight). I hate that shift. I feel like I'm being really taken advantage of because I'm closing so stinking much. That's a big reason I'm quitting so soon. Tonight I had a caramel frapp but I added 2 shots of espresso :) It was the grossest thing ever (because the espresso separated from the frapp, so I was drinking melted java juice) but it did the trick lol. I even skipped my last break, because I was on such a roll.

~ Tomorrow I'm working 4-close. Thursday I was scheduled to close. And twice next week. Anyone seeing how much this stinks? So yeah. I'm closing tomorrow. Then byebye. When I first started considering not giving 2 weeks notice, I felt really bad & irresponsible. Then I realized that on the day I got hired, my schedule was the following:
9-9:30 interview & hired
9:30-10 rush to Target to get collared shirts
10-4 work at Ben & Jerry's
4-12am training/work at Barnes & Noble
In short, I was working on the day I was interviewed. This means replacements are relatively easy to find.

Goodnight to all! Zahra, please let me know whether your phone has stopped being racist, as we need to discuss Julie's birthday. Let me know, por favor, if you're available this coming Sunday/Monday evenings (16 & 17) and whether you're available the following Sunday/Monday evenings (23 & 24). I'll be calling Julie too. We need to plan our JAZ Date!!! Since I now won't be working this weekend, I'm a little more flexible on which weekend to come up (provided Jessica is ok with it, as I've worked out to stay with her on the 22nd weekend). Wow...I need to shut up. It's 1:14 in the morning...I should not be this awake.

Rain!

It's raining.

Today we had about 5 customers in 6 hours. The most "entertaining" one was a man who ordered a chocolate malt, and then spilled the malt in his very nice car. Apparently, he picked up the cup at the flimsy part, and according to him, we have "horrible cups."

I'm spending the night at the hospital. I feel awesome now cause I did kickboxing for the first time in about 2 weeks! Funny, how working out (thus making yourself tired) can actually GIVE you energy.

"Update!" says Zahra

I went to the post office yesterday to mail back my apartment keys. Line was too long. I left & went to to work.

I went to the post office today to mail back my apartment keys. Line was too long. I left & went to work.

Last night I stayed at the hospital with Mom. She's doing SOOOO much better mentally. On Wednesday she had a talk with Nana, Cameron & me, and I cried. She was so deep...and giving so much credit to God that I had never expected her to do at this point.

I got a new church bag from the Christian bookstore next to Ben & Jerry's today. I love it, so I got it as a Pentecost gift to myself :)

Myspace is creepy...
addicat123: zahra?? i just got asked out on myspace
addicat123: this thing has been infiltrated with losers
PRZNchika: eek!!! who asked you out?
addicat123: from "tony"...i thought it was cake boy, but...its not
addicat123: i realized that after reading the first sentence
addicat123: " Hey there, if there is one thing about you, it's you smile, you're sooo cute!! Couldn't resist :-) ADD ME AS YOUR FRIENDS IN MYSPACE, WILL YA? ;-) I sometimes go to some salsa places on fri nites. Free fri nite around 9pm? lets go hang/chill. cell .. to coordinate, if interested? "
PRZNchika: eek did he have a picture?
addicat123: its a pool lol
PRZNchika: you got asked out by a pool!
addicat123: ha! yes!
addicat123: twas my dream
addicat123: and a motorcycle...and a car
PRZNchika: well please do not agree to going out with tony-the-pool-and-not-the-cake-boy
PRZNchika: k?
addicat123: (after i clicked on "pics")
addicat123 (9:32:22 PM): addicat123: PRZNchika: ohhh
PRZNchika: a pool
PRZNchika: motorcycle
PRZNchika: AND car
PRZNchika: this tony is them all.
PRZNchika: he can change shape!!!
addicat123: this tony is a magician
PRZNchika: i don't know tony the magician
PRZNchika: tony the cake boy was a bit confused though.
addicat123: im sorry zahra
addicat123: we'll get quiktrip...that'll solve that problem
PRZNchika: yes, yes it will

Right before I was (supposed to) leave work today, there was a huge rush. One guy in line, as I was ringing up his order, asked "Do you get bothered here a lot?" Confused, I replied, "umm, no not really." He asked if people often prank call the story asking for Ben or Jerry, and said that he's the type of person to do that. I think I may have said that it would be funny if people did. He kept talking about it, but I was busy & got back to work, where I promptly forgot about it.

About 5 minutes later, Bryan handed me the phone & said, "umm, it's for you." He said he thought it was my dad. So I took the phone, and the voice on the other end said, "is Ben or Jerry there?" and started laughing. I sarcastically responded, "eh, funny...thanks goodbye" in my "you're being dumb but I'm humoring you to be nice" tone. However, as I hung up I couldn't help but laugh...I had to admit, it WAS funny.

Then I asked Bryan how they asked for me. He said they asked by name. But I didn't tell them my name. A few minutes later, after the issue had been dropped, Bryan came back out and said, "umm, yeah...that's a little creepy."

Adriane's Laws of Driving

After a close run-in with another potential death-inducing event today, I feel justified in proclaiming my Laws of Driving (henceforth called "The Laws") to the blog-literate community of which I am a part. First, I shall explain the near-death experience which led to this list's formation.

Imagine two very busy roads (we'll call them Road A and Road B, for simplicity), forming an even busier intersection. Also consider the fact that it was at this intersection that my family had a wreck when I was 16, leading to emotional distress for me & my not wanting to drive until I was an aged teen.

So I'm turning left from Road A onto Road B, and I have a green arrow. Three cars are in front of me. Car #1 goes through. The arrow is still green. The other two go enter the intersection, as do I. However, before Car #2 can get all the way through, a group of high school students (who had apparently had a large percentage of their brain function impared due to absorbing all of the smog for which America is noted, as they seemed to enjoy being outside in the middle of the street) started crossing. Slowly. Leaving me IN the intersection when the light turned red. What t'was I to do??? I started to go through, as I was sortof stuck in the previously-established-as-very-busy intersection, but then I realized that I was about to be pummeled by oncoming traffic. So I backed up. Yeah. I felt stoooopid.

Really, I should blame myself, as going on the red light probably wasn't the most intelligent option in that situation. However, I've decided to blame those pedestrians.

I just deleted about 3 of my Laws. I decided that was stupid. Goodnight!

Today's Random Fact: Conformity is for suckers. I try to be a non-sucker. Ergo, I try to be a non-conformist.

Apparently it's National Stupidity Day

I parked behind someone. It was ok, because there were two spots (count them, two)...one for the previous person & one for me.

Then an idiot comes & parks behind me, blocking me in. I was majorly peeved. My dad had to come remedy the situation.

I'm just in a generally bad mood. I need a cry movie. But I don't have a cry movie. So instead, I'm just going to have to stay in a generally bad mood & continue needing a cry movie, the lack of which will serve not to get me out of my bad mood, but to drown me all the more in it. So expect this bad mood for a while...

And I guess I'm just adding to the collective stupidity by expecting (hoping?) for anything to go in a positive fashion. And I'm so unbelievably SICK of people so "kindly" telling me about how "I'm sure it'll all be ok." Oh, you're sure, are you? Why don't you enlighten me in that area, as I seem to be lacking such levels of certainty. Wait a second...that's right...YOU DON'T KNOW CRAP! So put a sock in the "oh, I'm sure..." business. To get philosophical, a good friend once said "When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it." The same applies to annoying the heck out of me by flaunting your superior magic-ball-reading skills, which I am apparently without, considering my inability to comprehend your genius. If you have something intelligent to say, say it. If all you can think of are superficial greeting card cliches, I don't want to hear it. I know that people "mean well" but if you think about it, you're really saying these "sympathetic" phrases for your benefit, not mine.

And now I've just deleted a whole paragraph that I had typed right here, because I'm tired and I'm ready to go to bed. This summer is turning out to be more stressful than semesters, and what's really crappy is that the only people for me to talk to about it are already dealing with it themselves. How disheartening to feel like it's not fair weather.

Disclaimer: I'm probably over-dramatizing. I'm good at that. Goodnight.

Whee, Grades!

All of my grades for the semester were posted on SIS this morning:
Literary Analysis - A+
Linguistics - A+
Genetics - A
Gender Studies - A
Government - A

How I got an A in Gender Studies after that Unspoken Paper Grade of two-o-o-six (lol...inside joke) is beyond me. And how I got an A+ in Lit Analysis after having so many absenses from my time in Temple and after puking up that paper last week is even farther beyond me. However, I am not one to complain of such things.

I need to go dress shopping. Julie (as per the previous post...a-hah! alliteration! Again!) already got one. She says she can wear it anywhere if she wears my black cover up (as her dress is a halter). This is true. However, she will not be wearing said cover up to our birthday dinners. That's where I draw ze line!

I was yelled at by a lady this morning. I was dropping Cameron off at school, and the car in front of me in the line PARKED. That didn't bother me...she had to walk her handicapped daughter inside...these things happen. I tried to go around but I was too close & cars kept coming in the other lane. "Oh well," said I. "I'll just sit here calmly & listen to my Christian musica." Apparently the lady behind me didn't have any such idea. Instead, she promptly honked (Several times. Quite loudly. Quite rudely, actually.), flailed her arms in contempt, and made an angry face mouthing "gooooooo." I put my hands up like, "you go ahead!"

Really what I was thinking was, "Ok. If the exhaust fumes have not yet compromised your ability to think rationally and to use basic motor skills to turn, then we can figure this out quite quickly. Why don't you go around me, as you have more room than I and you're the one that gives a crap in the first place! And how dare you flail at me in such a fashion and take out your conspicuous constipation on me?!" But I didn't say that. Instead, I rolled the window down and said, "I'm really sorry. I just didn't feel like I could get around." She emphatically rolled her eyes and sarcastically said "okaaaaay." Thankfully...or else I'm afraid that her disdainful withholding of ratification would have reduced me to a day at home crying.

Ok, here's that nostalgic post we've all been waiting for!

Stop. Go no further. Start the song Closing Time. Have you started it? Ok good. Now you may proceed.

In about 12 hours (I’ve been working on this throughout the day), I'm going to be moving for the 2nd time in a year. I'm so unbelievably happy to get to go home, see my family, spend oodles of time with my Mom...it's been hard living so far away. By the same token, though, I'm going to be so sad to leave this place - this apartment that has become my home away from home, these friends, this environment of intellectual stimulation. So, in the style of Zahra's post (her's is more picture-inclusive than mine), I shall proceed to give a list of grievances. Ah, how this reminds me of a day about 8 months ago when I was doing this very same thing.

While I'm certainly going to miss many aspects of this life I'm leaving, most of it revolves around the lovely girls of apartment ****. These girls have turned into more than amiable roommates. They've made my freshman year experience one that I will always look back upon with fondness. They have attained the status of best friends. And for that, they hold a special, irreplaceable place in my heart. I will miss them the most.

Things I Love About Julie
* Her French accent which she "can't help"
* Her decision to marry Switchfoot...collectively
* The inertia which causes her arms to flail behind her torso upon walking
* The way I never dread the sound of "Aaa-dri-on" (now "A-shri-on") in the distance
* She is always ready to watch a Lifetime movie with me & Sparky
* Her insistence on consuming every last speck of...whatever (lick that bowl, Julie!)
* The way she confidently declares herself endearing...but that she doesn't fully comprehend the limitlessness of that statement
* Her daily updates on Erwin in my absence
* Finding her slippers tucked neatly under the table for her to come back to
* Her pretty paintings that make our living room sparkle

Things I Love About Zahra
* Her beastly willingness to protect us amid our Lifetime fears…and to fight
* The fact that she LIVES to "lock me out"
* The way she "moves in" every Sunday evening
* That she is "the world's official hugger"...and never fails to deliver on that
* That she designates and entire load of laundry to her panties
* Her offer to come all the way to Houston just to chaperone a date
* That we reached a consensus to take a nap under the warm pink UTD blanket after Hope Floats

Things I Love About Valene
* Her facial expression after muttering “huh?”
* Her disgust with spinach…and our taste for it
* That she gave me part of the vacuum fuzz after cleaning it out
* The unrecognized peer pressure which she exerts on the rest of us with her spiffy sayings

I’ll miss the Waterview network connection hating me, and kicking me off alllll the time. Zahra, thank you for not blocking me on AIM, even though you threatened to do so. Having a reliable internet connection will be saddening.

I’ll miss Julie grabbing Luke & Lorelai with her bare hands so that we can clean their filthy water. I’ll miss having 4 people around to feed them constantly. And I’ll miss making beta babies!

I’ll miss the free movies that Valene found as part of our cable package. Sleepless in Seattle, West Side Story, Funny Girl…all better when you have great girls to share them with. Oh what fun, moving the couch up to the TV…we’re tough girls!

I’ll miss naming the boys that come into our lives. More than that, I’ll miss having those boys around to do things for us. I wonder if my brother….

I’ll miss hearing Julie’s door open in the mornings, and jumping out of bed immediately. That was better than any alarm clock. What! Julie’s up before me?! Aaaah!

I’ll miss calling the maintenance men for everything that needs done in our apartment. I treasure all of those maintenance reports that we have laying around. We’re on a first-name basis with several of them now!

I’ll miss looking at Jackie Chan every time I go into Julie’s room. I have to say, he’s beginning to grow on me now. Of course, the same can’t be said of Julie’s attitude toward my fuzzy posters. It’s ok…I’ll also miss her systematically removing them from my walls in the hope that I won’t notice.

I’ll miss shouting “someone’s food is ready” because the impatient microwave keeps beeping once a minute.

I’ll miss Julie trying to make me get new PJs. You’ve tried everything, and I’m still wearing cheeky monkey! Perhaps, though, we can get matching ones in accordance with your bribe.

I’ll miss the interrogation chair, and the reign of WABB over our relationships with boys. I’ll miss the confused look on many guys’ faces as we actually carried out the interrogations we promised. Remember when Cake Boy (ok ok, Tony) brought us that HUGE cake as a peace offering? I’m glad we gave him another chance.

I’ll miss Julie’s singing on the way to the grocery store or the movies. You’ve made me love Moulin Rouge, hun! You’re so unbelievably cute.

I’ll miss Thursday lunches in the PUB. How I’ve looked forward to those each week, and hated missing them on occasion. Even when I would be working the lunch rush, it was cheering just to see you guys come in.

I’ll miss the PUB itself, and the good friends I have made working there. I’m so blessed to be able to have fun at my job.

I’ll miss Roommate Weekends, and broadcasting our mutual love to the masses. “Do you have roommates? You should get some.”

I’ll miss taking trips in our pajamas. Wal-Mart, the Meteor Theater, the mailbox…ah, the memories.

I’ll miss Julie singing “Bad Day” and playing it on her computer when I have one. I’ll miss being able to hear the song on her computer when she goes to Zahra’s xanga, since my computer hates me & won’t play it.

I’ll miss having a home to come back to when I feel weezy.

I’ll miss taking pictures of everything. It feels like everything we’ve done has been properly documented visually. I love our three best pictures.

I’ll miss the menopausal weather. Hot. Cold. Moderately warm. Freezing beyond comprehension. Yeah, it’s always a surprise. Sorry I’ve been slacking on delivering the weather report each morning!

I’ll miss having no room in the refrigerator for legitimate stuff (like milk) because it is so full of to-go boxes.

I’ll miss the yellow walls, and Julie’s paintings.

I’ll miss finding my panties in a bag on my doorknob. I’ll miss having girls around who understand how you can have an entire bag full of panties.

I’ll miss waking up to the shrill sound of smoke detectors…and laughing in the living room while they continue to shriek for half an hour in the middle of the night.

I’ll miss eating french fries from the PUB. But not before we’ve re-cooked them in the oven & showered them with Tony Chachere’s (sp??)

But more than all of that, I’ll miss having girls to call maintenance for me. I’ll miss hearing my name (with a French accent, of course) on a daily basis. I’ll miss the people with whom I take grocery store trips, and the girls that live to lock me out. I’ll miss having those awesome friends who are willing to ask weird questions to make sure that the guys I’m hanging out with are worth it. I’ll miss deep conversations that last until the wee hours of the morning, and buying lots of pillows with my new bedding, confident that we’ll use all of them.

The memories…

In the past 8 months and 19 days, we have accomplished so much. Much more than a group of skimpy college girls could be expected. We have:
(click the * for a picture!!)
* Gotten through a pregnancy & learned French insults
* Successfully sauntered Wal-Mart in PJs at midnight without getting raped
* Learned how to do normal body functions in a class that 1/3 of us don’t take
* Cured Julie of her brownie addiction
* Established ourselves as virgins
* Taken pictures with Abuelo
* Been through some hard times, and remained there for each other
* Experienced the awesomeness that is giant QuikTrip cups
* Considered skydiving together…nah!
* Had fun with balls (hehe)
* Shrunk our collective female fat zones
* Traded clothes & warned each other of possible death-by-weather
* Made it through Govt 2302. ‘Nuff said.
* Realized that our best dates are with each other
* Giggled about boy parts during Thursday lunch
* Put glucose tablets to a much more “creative” use
* Gotten married. Some of us more than others…
* Been totally awesome princesses
* Gotten gussied
* Turned on one another, but made it through in the end
* Been scarred by the sight of nakey boys & discussed nakey trees
* Ordered & eaten 3 medium 1-topping pizzas
* Handled the three-musty-Mexican-maintenance-men & called maintenance for EVERYthing! They must loooooove us!
* Discovered the tragedy of the female condom & hemorrhoids
* Prepared for a tornado
* Had a slumber party on the balcony
* Grown quite accustomed to talking on AIM & banging on walls
* Experienced the happiness of Julie & Zahra’s marriage
* Left Olive Garden with 10 to-go boxes
* Gleefully pounced upon each other
* Caught & detained the blog culprit…but she still commits her crimes!
* Become tenacious wildcats in Jujitsu
* Dedicated Zahra the confrontational-phone-call maker…for bills and the cable guy
* Named boys & done interrogations with WAAB
* Spoken out against modern sexuality
* Played some serious flag football
* Toasted our 1-month anniversary
* Disturbed an entire movie theater with our fashionable exit
* Learned where we come from…through the people upstairs
* Lived through fire
* Rewarded ourselves with a couple of our favorite jelly donuts
* Left our comfort zones & made new & lifelong friendships

Tonight we had our reminiscence session. We sat on the couch, in our PJs of course, and ate french fries. We talked about our time together. Zahra recalled “hating” me when I moved in, because I apparently gave her a weird look. How was I to know that she was supposed to be there?! We realized that we attended the same orientation last April. The 3 of us recalled our first eager telephone conversations and unleashed first impressions. Julie thought I was going to be a drunken popular girl…but when she came in & saw me “freaking out” over groceries, she knew she had nothing to fear. I thought she was going to be a really anal smart girl…which she is (without the anal part :-p). Zahra addressed how unfair I have been in taking up all of the communal kitchen & storage space…and Julie agreed. Apparently, I have too much crap…but I can’t live without it. Then Julie started to go into her room. I thought she was coming to my room to read this screen (a super no-no) so I ran to stop her. In the process I hurt my foot. She doesn’t care…she said I deserved it. Poo. :-)

I’m sitting here, now at 2:30 in the morning, after just having had a discussion with Julie. Mostly, we talked about how much I miss orchestra & what a big part of my life that was. I’ve often thought about where I would be in my musical pursuits if I had followed my original plan to go elsewhere.

But tonight, after our reminiscence session, I realized that Julie, Zahra & I ALL wanted to go elsewhere. I wanted to go to Sam Houston & major in music. Zahra wanted to go to Rice & made this known through her attitude at UTD orientation. Julie wanted to go to Baylor & got a new car instead. I remember fighting my parents about this school, telling them it was the last place I wanted to go. I even had all of my friends hating the idea with me.

Even after deciding that I did want to come here, I still catch myself wondering. I wonder what I might have kept if I hadn't abandoned my “first choice.” What’s ironic is that after 8 months, I now realize what I would have lost if I had.

Love Always,
Adriane

Fuming

I'm sick & tired of some guys acting "nice" and then deciding to behave like the pushy, needy people they are. Not all guys, of course, but some. So in case anyone is reading this who hasn't gotten it through their head, MY PRIORITIES ARE HERE TO STAY SO GET USED TO IT OR LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE! And to all the girls out there, any worthwhile guy who claims to like you will appreciate that you have priorities and are not a needy whiney brat. They will love that you are devoted to things other than them. It is the kind of guy that, before you've even met (which I know was against my better judgement & the judgement of those who care about me) says, "well you SAID blah blah blah and NOW you're saying that your SCHEDule is BUSy blah blah blah..." I have one response for that: I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUUUUUUU! This is the kind of guy that girls marry & then get killed by out of their heinous jealousy. Stop expecting me to get off the phone with someone else to talk to you. I said we could meet cause I like to make new friends at school. THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE DATING! That doesn't mean you get to ask where I am all the time or what I was doing when you tried to call me. I am strong & smart, and I'm not going to cower to a guy to feel validated. I look forward to the time when I find a man with whom I can have a meaningful conversation, discuss religion and God, our families, and our aspirations. I hope to find that he who shares my beliefs, whom I can respect. ALL YOU'VE DONE IS SENT ME MESSAGES & TRIED TO GET ME TO MEET YOU OFF CAMPUS! NO! I'm busy! I'll make an exception & meet you (because I think it's rather creepy to meet people online without any other connection) in a public place on campus and play chess or pool. THAT'S IT! And STOP acting so annoyed and hurt that I'm busy. If we're going to be friends, you're going to have to learn that sometimes other things are going on that you have to work around. Julie's learned it! Zahra's learned it! Megan & Andrew & Josh have learned it! Even my Mom has learned it! And these people are very close to me! WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE DATING!
I've gone off completely...sorry to those who must read it. This person probably isn't even reading this post, and if he is, well, then this situation just got a lot creepier. Here's how I feel, for those who care. I am strong & independent. I'm not going to let a guy think he owns me. I do look forward to someday finding "the one" who genuinely cares, but doesn't try to be overly controling. Even in dating, you have to be your own person. One day I hope to get married, and that man will be one for whom I have deep respect & admiration. I'll be able to trust him and his judgement, and we will make decisions together. I will call him when I get somewhere, but not because I'm forced to. Until then, I'm sick & tired of the few stupid guys out there making me sick & tired. I know there are a lot of great ones.
NOW I need to write my term paper.

Wow, it's the middle of the night

Incompetence baffles me. That's all I'm gonna say.

I love my job! I really have fun with the people with whom I work...not something I was expecting. And the quesadillas aren't bad either. I have not cooked in approximately 2 weeks. Yup...since I started working. I buy dinner at work almost every night (cause I work late), and then the meal is so big that I have it for lunch the next day. Wait I lied...I have made vegetables in the microwave & such. And today I was pouting & made Easy Mac. I really want to make homemade chicken noodle soup. I think I wrote about that already. I'm sleepy.

Today's Random Fact: Though my first name means "dark one", never fear. My middle name means "light"...so I think it all balances out.