Public Service Announcement: Little Asses

I would just like to make a blanket statement that if you want to be an ass, please be an ass to my face. I would appreciate it if your little ass could at least be a big enough ass to not be a chicken ass.

For example, if you come to the righteous conclusion that because I forgot about you and married someone else, and was so pompous as to ignore your suggestions otherwise, that I deserve to be ditched, please be so kind as to ditch me to my face.

I'm sorry that I kicked you in the balls.

I'm sorry that I had a crush on you before my frontal lobe was fully developed, and I'm sorry that it went away when that part of my brain began to grow.

I'm sorry that your attempts to convince my father to abruptly cancel my wedding failed you.

I'm sorry that my reaction to that nonsense embarrassed you.

I'm sorry that you randomly decided, almost a year later, that you would stick it to me by "unfriending" me. If you ask me, that's kindof babyish, and not a very positive reflection on you as a person. I mean, I'm certainly not prone to eliminate life-long friends because they embarrassed my ass, but I suppose your ass is a little more sensitive to being embarrassed. Maybe because it's tiny and incapable of drawing any kind of positive attention.

But then, what do I know? We're not friends anyway.