Respecting Those Closest

Yesterday, my husband and I were talking, and I asked him, "What is the number one thing that I could change to make our relationship better?" He said, "Have a better attitude."

His response startled me. In my mind, I generally have a good attitude. I give people the benefit of the doubt, I’m careful not to snap at people who can’t control/didn’t cause my problem, and I work to let minor things go. I go so far as to think about what a stranger or acquaintance might be going through, and cut them slack.

But do I show the same consideration for my husband? Sadly, that answer is often a big “No.”

I come home from work most days tired, and either stressed or annoyed. Though I work hard not to take these feelings out on my husband, I do complain to him about them. What I didn’t realize is that to him, the two are often interchangeable.

Interestingly, I had read this post on BiblicalWomanhood.com on Thursday. Perhaps this loving Christian wife’s pitfall helped to me acknowledge my own, and be more open to the criticism of my husband than I might be otherwise. While it’s good to know that I’m not the only wife that falls into this pattern, it’s scary to think that women (or men) are habitually taking their frustrations from outside the home and planting them in the very place that, in my husband’s words, “is supposed to be safe.”

Benjamin & me on our honeymoon, August 2007

We have enough things to worry about at home without bringing in outside contamination. Home is supposed to be safe – and while “safe” to me may mean being able to voice my frustrations, “safe” to my husband is being able to enjoy his wife in a pleasant environment.

This is not to say that I should not share things that have a significant impact on our lives. I don’t think my husband would suggest that, either. But if I can strive to limit my venting to things that really matter, I will more thoroughly honor my husband. I want my life to revolve around home – not work, traffic, or trivial worries.

We should show the greatest respect and love to those closest to us. And though I had convinced myself that I was respecting him by being open, he only felt disrespected and dumped-on. I need to show his definition of respect, just as I want to be shown mine.

A New Beginning

It’s been about a month since I last updated this thing! So much has happened and changed, but every time I think I need to post, I realize that I don’t have the time to update on everything, and put it off even more. Funny how that happens, I guess.

So here are the highlights!


~ Move to Fort Worth ~

Benjamin & I moved from Richardson to Fort Worth on July 27. Although it took us what felt like an eternity to pack up our 530 square foot apartment, the actual move only took a couple of hours. That’s probably due in large part to his parents, grandparents, and a family friend offering their assistance. The night before we moved, Benjamin didn’t get to sleep until around 4:00 am. I fought the urge to sleep, knowing that a couple of hours would leave me acting totally drugged the next day. Instead, I bought massive amounts of packing tape and bubble wrap, as I had underestimated how much we would use. It’s amazing how much stuff we fit into our first apartment!

I love the new apartment. It’s only about 250 square feet bigger than the one in Richardson, but it feels like twice the size. We have several large closets, and our unit doesn’t share any walls with the neighbors. That means that we have 3 huge windows in the living room and 2 in the bedroom.

While I started organizing the apartment, Benjamin jumped into making it a nicer place for us to be in general. It’s in a middle-quality area, right between the “bad part” and the “good part” of town. The complex is old, but it seems like it’s been taken care of and we got an outstanding deal on it. Still, it was nice to have my husband do a few things that really made a huge difference. Here are a few of the nice things he did:

• Replaced all of the light fixtures. The ones that came with it were old and dirty, and we couldn’t get them clean again. Changing the fixtures also sealed the ceiling better, so that the cigarette smoke from our upstairs neighbors would not seep in.
• Changed all of the doorknobs. We brought our own high-quality lock, and he got silver knobs to match on the interior. He put a lock on our big closet as well.
• Put shelves in the pantry. The “pantry” in the kitchen is tiny, and I was disappointed to again have an apartment without a real pantry. I find that the kitchen is so much easier to keep organized when everything has a place, which is not as feasible without a pantry. Very quickly, though, we decided to use the closet in the dining area as the pantry, and the “pantry” as a drink cabinet (liquor, coffee, tea, sodas, etc). So he built some extra shelves in the closet, and now it’s perfect for our food & the appliances that we don’t use constantly.
• Hung curtains. We picked out some double curtain rods, so we chose tan for the curtain next to the window in both rooms, and avocado green for the curtain that shows in the living room and black in the bedroom. (We started with burgundy, but it didn’t look right with the comforter.) He did lots of drilling, which resulted in lots of vacuuming for me, but now it looks so nice. He even ironed them! (I hate ironing, myself.)
• Printed & hung photos. We’ve had a photo printer for months, but we haven’t really used it. Benjamin has gone nuts printing all of our favorite pictures to display, now, though. Lots of them are in black & white, and he’s done a nice job making them look top notch. I’d really like to learn how to do that sometime. It’s like we really live there now!
• Changed the shower head. He came home one day with a giant thing that looks like my diffuser for my blow dryer! It’s really nice though…there are 2 settings on it, and it sits higher in the shower (the other one was crazy low), so we don’t knock ourselves out now =P

We did have some problems though. Rather than get all into the specifics (I'll go nuts, I’m sure), I'll just do bullet points again. Rest assured, though, we have ample documentation (including letters and photos) in case this turns into a bigger issue.

• Broken window. Before we moved in, they assured us that they would have the broken window in the living room fixed by our move-in date. It looked fixed, so we thought it was fine. The office staff had been really nice & seemed concerned about us being happy. Two weeks later, when Benjamin was measuring for curtains, he noticed that not only was the “window” not even glass, but it wasn’t installed! It had been cut, set in the frame, and held in place with a screen on the outside. Benjamin popped it right out! Needless to say, we were both furious. I took the window (yes, the window) to the leasing offices (both of them) to insist on it being fixed immediately. They were scheduled to be open, being a Sunday early afternoon, but they weren’t. I called the emergency number, which was “not in service.” I then left a message on their office voicemail expressing my irritation and telling them that it needed to be fixed before we went to bed. Benjamin boarded up the window for safety that night. The next day, Benjamin spoke to the office staff 3 times, and each time they promised him that it would be fixed by 4 pm. They even said that the glass man had just arrived at the complex and was on his way to our unit. They never came. So on Tuesday he spoke to the manager, who had never been alerted to the issue. It was fixed that afternoon. I usually don’t like to be demanding, especially when I feel like there’s no need to be a pain. But seriously, the window is 2”x2”, and either one of us (or a criminal) could have just climbed right in. And we’re on the first floor. Unbelievable.
• Deviants. There are 3 boys that live in our building that like to sit right outside our bedroom window and talk, laugh, fight, bounce their basketball, etc, anytime between 10:30 pm and 3:00 am. At first, I would go outside (because I’m a woman & less threatening) and ask them to keep it down. Once there were about 10-12 of them, and one guy started acting aggressive. So at that point, I went inside & called the police while Benjamin went outside & started asking for names. Long story short, to date we’ve had to call several times, and each time the officer that comes says that they have to give a warning before they can issue a ticket. We’ve also given letters to the apartment manager requesting her support. I know they probably get complaints all the time, but they sit on the air conditioner, and talk so loudly that it wakes us up. I don’t want to give too much information, because it’s kindof a legal thing, but the good news is that we haven’t had any problems in almost a week! We’re really hoping this continues, because we need more than 4-5 hours of sleep lol.
• Fleas. When we first moved in, Monte got covered in fleas, and he’s never had them before. I freaked out, and started giving him baths almost every day, vacuuming at least once a day, and washing everything in hot water. My mom even sent us some Capstar tablets for him, which kill all of the fleas that are on him. I know how hard it can be to get rid of fleas once there’s an infestation, and I did NOT want to deal with that. But, they seem to have subsided. We keep him out of the bushes and I’m still vacuuming & bathing him a lot. A flea comb is a great tool, too. Just sit there with a bowl of hot water with Dawn in it, and rinse the comb in the water after each stroke. It kills 'em!

In general, we love our new apartment, and it feels so nice to have started again in a new place.

~ Wedding Anniversary ~

Benjamin & I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary on Monday, August 4. The day started with me leaving at 6:00 am to go to Plano for my US History exam. Then, since I had taken the day off work, I went home and began my exciting day. I picked up sushi at Central Market on the way home, then took a shower, fixed my hair, put on a sundress, did some light cleaning, and then met Benjamin at his office for lunch. I wanted to have a picnic at the Botanic Gardens (where he proposed), but it was so hot, and he was wearing his business clothes. He gets hot so easily anyway – as sentimental as it would be, I thought subjecting him to the heat wouldn’t be very loving. So we went home for lunch, and I put a blanket down on the living room floor for our air conditioned picnic.

After lunch, I went to the mall to pick up his present. I knew I needed to be home by 5:00, because he said his plans started then. With paper being the traditional first anniversary gift, I really wanted to have our marriage certificate framed in an engraved frame. But our marriage certificate is a really odd size, and there was no way I was going to cut it. So, that was out of the question. Instead, I bought him some nice cuff-links as well as a French-cuff shirt from Express. Those are his favorite, but he doesn’t like to spend that much on himself for a shirt. I, however, justified it with it being our anniversary.

When he got home, we exchanged gifts. He got me a silver clock with 12 tiny black frames around it. (Last weekend he printed black & white pictures & put them in the frames.) He also gave me a burgundy scrapbook that will look nice in our bedroom or even our living room, some scrapbooking supplies, a big black storage for all of that, some black frames (which he put some photos in for the living room), and a photo chest with spaces for pictures on the top. I think I may use it as a jewelry box instead of a photo box, though it’s quite big and it doesn’t have a latch. Either way, it’ll be great to use.

After presents, I went to touch up my makeup, as I’d been running around all day. He told me I really didn’t need to do that, to “trust him,” but I did it anyway J I wanted to look nice for our anniversary! He had made a reservation for us to get a couples massage at a spa downtown. I had no idea where we were, and knowing that I am afraid of needles, he jokingly told me we were there for Botox. The massage was relaxing & very thoughtful, and I was ready to go to sleep after that. But he had made dinner reservations at a tiny Italian restaurant that I’d never heard of. He said it came highly recommended, and it was so nice. We were seated in a corner away from the other guests, and it provided a very romantic atmosphere. The food was delicious, though we ended up trading half-way through. They gave us complimentary champagne & dessert, too.

I had told Benjamin that our anniversary is very important to me, and I wanted to do something special. I said that either he could plan something, or we could plan something together. He took over, and did a wonderful job. I hope I can do something equally amazing next year for him.

~ College Graduation ~

This summer I took 15 hours (5 courses) so that I could go ahead & finish my degree. I took Criminal Justice, World Music and Advanced Composition at the university, and Statistics and US History at the community college. I finished my last final exam on August 14.

Unfortunately, I’ve had trouble getting my community college transcript to the university. Now they’re saying I might not be able to officially graduate until the fall. Of course, this is all simply because of a time difference in when grades are available at the 2 schools, and has little to do with me. But they’ve extended my deadline until Thursday at 5:00 pm, so hopefully it’ll all work. Otherwise, I'll be finished, but just won’t have my diploma until December.

Picture Links!

I realized that I don't have very many pictures on here! And since I just went through & copied all of my wedding blog posts into this one, I thought I'd update other stuffs too!

These are all of the pictures that I have on Facebook.

~ WEDDING PICTURES ~
Engagement Pictures
Rehearsal
Getting Ready
Ceremony
Reception
Honeymoon

~ COLLEGE PICTURES ~
Fall 2005
Spring 2006
Dallas Formal 2006
Zahra's Birthday
Summer 2006
Fall 2006 (1)
Fall 2006 (2)
Snow Day 2006
Spring 2007

~ SPECIAL ALBUMS ~
Mommy
Monte
Feast 2006
High School

Promises & Promiscuity

One of the things that bothers me about other people is their inherent tendency to be stupid. I certainly count myself under that umbrella, but I think it's safe to say that I think things through before taking a wrong action. And while it may be unfair to demand my values of others, it shouldn't be too much to hold them to their own.

I also don't like the term "pre-marital sex." Where did the "pre" come from, anyway? As I understand it, this is society's non-judgmental way of saying, "They just did it in a different order. They make their own choices, deviated from the crowd" as if their toying with a precious and sacred concept is the equivalent of ordering from the Burger King menu. "Have it your way" has become an all-too-natural behavioral mantra.

What we should be calling it is "non-marital sex." You weren't pre married, you were non married! Of course, this too has earned liberal acceptance. And, oh my, we wouldn't want to offend someone who did it their own way.

Certainly, there are people who just don't care. They've never cared, they don't consider consequences, and they are simply entitled. They were probably raised by parent-people who also never cared and felt entitled. These people, with some exception, are a lost cause by the time they hit their upper teenage years. They've learned a lifestyle, and to teach them differently would be to deprive them of what they once had.

But then there are people that know better. They claim beliefs, both religious and ethical, and vow to stand by them. They convince friends and family of their character and complain about those that deviate from such values. And it is these people who bother me the most when they falter. To deny values is one thing. To hypocritically profess them is another entirely.

I'm sick of my religious friends shacking up. I'm sick of them acting like it's "no big deal," when in fact they have surrendered their moral foundation for the opportunity to "be in love." I'm sick of the sanctity of my marriage (flawed as it may be) being trampled by the widespread approval of someone else's semblance of one.

I'm sick of supposedly chaste girls getting pregnant in high school (or middle school, or college, or their 30's). Though pregnancy itself is not the cause of my sickness, it certainly adds to the number of people their bad decisions impact. I'm sick of young women thinking it's ok to bypass important steps. Do they realize that the life into which they're bringing their baby is not good? Do they even think about the potential consequences - to themselves and their potential children - before spreading it for their horny high school boyfriends? If so, it doesn't seem to stick.

For the religious folk, consider this: You have sex, you're married. That's how God sees it. He doesn't appreciate your methodology, but you've consummated your relationship. You don't get a party. You don't get congratulations. You don't get to wear the pretty white dress.

Except that you do. And that makes me sick.

And when you get pregnant. You don't get a shower. You don't get the adoration of little girls who call you their idol. You don't get to think about how this affects you.

Except that, once again, you do. That makes me sick, too.

But the worst part is the scarcity of regard for the sanctity of sex and life. I am a married woman. Benjamin and I were both virgins when we said "I do." As a result, we share a special bond with each other that few modern young people can claim. Don't you think we were attracted to each other while we were dating? Don't you think we had opportunities to screw around? Don't you think I want babies? Duh!

But we were responsible. Some people think that "getting lost in the moment," having to "do" your significant other right then is a sign of insatiable love that no one understands. Guess what? We do understand - all of us who have made the right choices and retained our ethical premises. Jumping into bed with your high school sweetheart isn't love, it's horniness. And caving into those feelings doesn't make your relationship special and unique, it makes your relationship common and short-sighted.

I guess this is all grounded in my selfishness. I want my responsible choices to be viewed as positive, instead of being dismissed as old-fashioned. I don't want my life to be considered unexciting. And I don't want the things that I want so much in life to be taken for granted, even found inconvenient, by those who haven't earned them.

But when I really think about it, my life is exciting. I have a husband from whom I receive safety and love. We are passionate and loving, and we share a security of which unmarried couples can only dream. So I don't have a new guy every few months, but I get to keep a pretty great one. I don't have a baby to care for, but when I do, he or she will be a cherished blessing. And when I go to sleep tonight, I know that I will be waking up next to the same man tomorrow and for years to come. That's exciting.

My Smartification Baby

Benjamin & I were talking tonight about my upcoming graduation, and how I won't know what to do with myself once I finish. I told him that I would need to prioritize how I would continue my "smartification" (aka, graduate school, teachers certification, MT school...).

Me: I could do a masters in like 4 semesters. I just wish I could find a job that I like. I don't even mean get a job that I like, I just mean find one to apply for.
Benjamin: Yeah, I know.
Me: *pouting* Ugh, it's so hard. *hug* Can I just have a baby instead?
Benjamin: Sure, in a couple of years!
Me: Hmm, I think I could go to school for another 2 years. Sounds like a plan!

French Eskimos

I was lying on the couch with Benjamin last night & we were smooching. (Yes, married people still smooch from time to time.) Anyways, the following series of ethnically diverse events took place:

Me: Kiss?
Ben: *kisses me*
seconds pass
Ben: Eskimo kiss! *rub noses*
seconds pass
Ben: Eskimo french kiss! *licks my nose & then rubs noses*

Ok, now that I've typed it up, that looks really boring. The TV was on, though, and we were smooching =P

"Love of My Life"

by Jim Brickman

~~~

I am amazed when I look at you

I see you smiling back at me, it's like all my dreams come true

I am afraid if I lost you now

I'd fall through the cracks and lose me track in this crazy lonely world

Sometimes it's so hard to believe when the nights can be so long

And faith gave me the strength and kept me holding on

You are the love of my life

And I'm so glad you found me

~

You are the love of my life

Baby put your arms around me

I guess this is how it feels

When you finally find something real

My angel in the night

You are my love

The love of my life

~

Now here you are, with midnight closing in

You take my hand as our shadows dance, with moonlite on you skin

I look in your eyes, I'm lost inside your kiss

I think if i'd never met you about all the things I'd missed

Sometimes it's so hard to believe when a love can be so strong

And faith gave me the strength and kept me holding on

~

You are the love of my life

And I'm so glad you found me

You are the love of my life

Baby put your arms around me

I guess this is how it feels

When you finally find something real

My angel in the night

You are my love

The love of my life

~~~

Prepositional Problem

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

I was wondering...

Is it strange that when you're dating someone, you're defined as "in a relationship with" that person, but when you're married, you're "married to" that person? It's interesting how those little prepositions can change the connotation of your "status"?

"With" suggests harmony, community, and togetherness.

"To" suggests aggression and opposing directions.

I've also noticed this difference in how we discuss our conversations. If someone says, "I was talking to so-and-so," doesn't that convey more of a lecture-style monologue than, if they said, "I was talking with so-and-so." To me, the latter connotes a more positive, mutual dialog. Couldn't we apply this concept elsewhere?

Perhaps I'm taking this too far, so I'll stop before I work myself into further mindless cyber-banter. My point is just one I've been considering, and which probably makes no difference to other native English-speakers. I guess that's why they call me anal.

I can't wait!

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

Well, everything seems to be coming along with the wedding plans. Only 39 more days!!! We hit a snag with the invitations, so they'll hopefully be mailed out in the next couple of days. I'm still really glad that we decided to do them ourselves...I love the design we picked & everything. But of course, when you go & do stuff that way, it takes more work & you gotta accept that :)

We took engagement pictures this past weekend. As soon as they're edited I'll post them on facebook! It's so cute...Benjamin & I have been buying these matching outfits. On Sunday he told his mom, "She's making me wear them! It was my idea, but she's making me!" Humorously, of course =P

Now we have 3 matching outfits, so we only need 2 more so we can match every day of our honeymoon cruise! We'll be leaving on Monday August 6, and going to Progreso & Cozumel. Even though I'm slightly scared of boats/ocean, I'm getting over it as time goes on. I'm really excited, regardless! We'll have all day Sunday in Galveston since our wedding is on Saturday and the boat doesn't leave until Monday. Maybe we can go swimsuit shopping or something :) We're also making a "honeymoon box" for things we see now that we want to have as little presents for ourselves. My mom used to have a "Feast box" for us to put stuff in for the Feast each fall...so that's where I got the idea. Benjamin has found a few undergarments to add to the box ;-)

Last night, I had my first "bad wedding dream" since we've been engaged. I've only had like 3 ever, but they're really scary. They're all different situations, but the common factor in all is severe disorganization. I guess my subconscious is telling me that I'm really worried about the organization aspect. I can look on the bright side though...at least I'm not worried about my groom! That's the most important part of my wedding =D

Oh! Benjamin found a song that we've decided to play for our first dance as a married couple! I'm very excited to have that picked...it's perfect.

In just a few minutes I'll be leaving work to go see my fiance, who should hopefully be waiting for me at my apartment :) My sister is visiting, so last week we all met in Grapevine for Juliane & Ryan to try on their dress/tux. I think Benjamin decided to get the tuxes elsewhere though. When we came back to my apartment after trying them on (we were in two cars) Benjamin had my favorites - cherry beer & pink gerber daisies - waiting for me. He's already got me, and he's still being romantic <3>

What's that?!? An update?!? Why, yes, I believe it is!

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

Though I've been terribly busy, my laziness in regard to blogging was recently brought to my attention by dear 'ole Zahra. Indeed, this page is in desperate need of an update :)

As previously mentioned, the wedding date is Saturday, August 4. That's right at 7 1/2 weeks from now! Obviously, I'm quite excited, and I'm continuously counting the days.

We're still working on finishing up the invitations. They have been something of a project, and I'm thankful to have had a lot of help. I hope to have them mailed out early next week, but as with everything, I need to be flexible.

My parents have done a ton of work on the guest list, and making arrangements with the church at which the ceremony will be held. They've made calls and ordered my dress, and been more than supportive of mine and Benjamin's goals. Benjamin's mom and sister worked with us on the invitations well into the night a couple of weekends ago, helping us to put a huge dent in the amount of work. Nana is addressing envelopes this week, and I'm glad she's being patient with my ever-changing list of addresses. Megan has volunteered her expertise to design the jewelry for the wedding. Julie and Amanda have worked their schedules around mine, and taken time out to search for the perfect bridesmaid dresses. I can't wait to see how they look on all of the girls!

My fiance (whee!) has been nothing but helpful over the past couple of weeks. Along with putting in overtime at work, he has been making frequent trips to Houston on the weekends (we've gone 3 times in a month!), making plans for our honeymoon, gathering addresses, and cooperating with my sometimes-emotional nature. He's even been spending his evenings gluing bows and paper cakes onto invitations. He has had such a willing attitude, that I feel much more at ease and less worried that I'm going to forget something or run out of time to get things done. Benjamin has made it clear that he does not want to view the planning from the sidelines, and I can't thank him enough for all of his involvement.

Well, last night we (hopefully) finished our Target registry! We have a few more things to add at Macy's, but I think that's going to wait until the weekend. We have some pieces of furniture picked out, and I think we'll be very happy with our decisions. We're still excited about our ducky-themed bathroom!

Haha, I just realized that I keep typing "we"...I can't wait to be "Mr. and Mrs." <3

Yesterday I got a call from the bridal store saying that my dress & veil & petticoat and all that fun stuff have come in! I need to go in to get everything finalized, and then I'll get to bring my wedding dress home & hang it in the closet where I can look at it every day. I can just see myself walking around in athletic pants eating ice cream & staring at my dress. That reminds me of a conversation I had right after I moved to college in August 2005...

Zahra was reading me excerpts from "The Complete Handbook for College Women" & came across a section on eating disorders.
Me: *eats a peanut M&M*
Zahra: Accept & appreciate your body in its natural state
Me: *sits & thinks*
Me: *eats another M&M"
Zahra: Reward yourself for accomplishing tasks...
Zahra: ...For example, treat yourself to a night at the movies, a call to a friend, or a couple of your favorite jelly donuts
Zahra: "So then you can get fat & love your body in its natural state"

Tonight, Benjamin came over and I bought my first alcohol. Of course, given the hobbies of my company, it was beer =P I tried to drink it with a straw, but Benjamin put a stop to that. Apparently "you don't drink beer with a straw." Who knew? =P

I should probably get to bed...I'm blinking to stay awake lol. It's been a tough couple of weeks, and I think it's time for a pre-midnight bedtime :)

Viagra Commercials

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

(I'm not sure if I spelled that right...)

Anyway, as I was mindlessly putting away my groceries, I heard a commercial on tv:
"Viagra is suitable for men with all levels of er*ct*le d*sfunct*on....Ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex."

I apologize for the *'s...I still feel like it's a dirty word lol. It shouldn't be, since I am a soon-to-be-married woman, but none-the-less...

Ok, so now that we're all sufficiently uncomfortable...I witnessed a serious cat fight at Wal-Mart tonight. A lady (and I use that term loosely) got all freaked out, and started pushing another lady out of the way, and hollering, and tattling to the supervising cashier lady at the self check-out. I was already stressed by having been held up several times, so I was ready to just knock everybody's heads together & call it a night. Luckily, though, I have a healthy capacity for self-restraint, and I managed to get by with just giving a probably-unnoticed annoyed look to the unlady-like lady.

Tootles!

WHAT Registry?!?

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

We went to Houston this weekend to visit my family, and today we went to Macy's with my mom to start our gift registry. We went to a "Service Counter" where it looked like we were supposed to begin, and after a short wait (during which Mom offered to get their attention by casually opening the cash register) a lady came over to help us. I explained that we needed to start a gift registry, and she gave me the most unpleasantly surprised look I can imagine, and asked, "You two are getting married?" I was like, "Yes." Then she pointed us to another counter.

Later in the car, Benjamin brought it back up. He explained that the lady bugged him, and in response to her indignance (did I make up that word?) he wanted to reply, "Yes! I love her very much!"

And I know I didn't look terribly young, because Benjamin said so. Plus, I looked extra cute, and seriously marriable, and was sporting a very pretty diamond ring on the cooresponding finger. I just don't understand her amazement. Poo.

And speaking of poo, apparently Monte likes to eat cat poo, and then Chester likes to bring poo to my parents & their guests as presents. We have some very un-selfish dogs.

After we got past the Marriage Police, we got to use the spiffy little scanner to scan UPCs :) Benjamin went a little scanner-happy, and registered for 12 butter dishes...(actually, it was an accident that we made together). But I'm happy to say that we have officially registered for our wedding china & silverware. We also picked out stuff for the bathroom, but when we went to scan it, our little scanner friend rejected the entry because apparently it was on clearance...so we had to buy it today.

...but all is well.

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

I don't have a date, or a location, or a dress, or a honeymoon hotel, or a photographer, or a cake decorator, or a quartet, or...

...but I have a ring, and a minister, and an apartment. I have love, and joy, and closeness, and faith. I have an amazing man who wants to make me his wife.

And finding that - the love of my life, with whom I want to share everything from now until the day I die - that's the essential part. The rest is just details.

<3

I have a feeling I'll be a rather handy wife...

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

This has absolutely nothing to do with my wedding, but I'm going to try to fudge it to make it fit =P Yeah, I'm good like that.

At work, my boss came over & noticed that I had some magazines (corporate, not bridal) on my desk, and that it looked a bit cluttered. She's like, "we need to get you some hanging baskets & stuff!" and I proceeded to put on my most-favoritest-but-also-most-pain-inducing shoes & follow her to IT, where she, Belen (the other new girl) and I raided them of their cool organizational stuff.

Then, we returned to DR, where 6 of us (count them, 6) tried to hang the gadgets on Belen's cubicle wall. Finally Spencer came over to help, and after watching for a few minutes being of zero assistance, I started to put my own thing up. My boss asked, "Did you get it?" and I said, "Juuuust about...yup!"

Then she shouted, "Adriane's done! Spencer, do you need her to come help you?" and everyone laughed. Of course, I had hung it higher than we wanted, so I had to take it down. Spencer seemed pleased by this, as evidenced by his "yes!" and his fist in the air.

Still, for a girl, I think I figured out that building-type task rather well...Bring on the leaky sinks and the burned-out lightbulbs! Of course, I'll have a husband to do those things for me, now won't I? ;-)

Poo #1

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

Well, the church I want isn't available on the day I want, so I'm getting my first glimpse of wedding diappointment.

Someone please tell me that getting everything started is the hardest part!

The Proposal

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

Benjamin and I had been seriously discussing marriage for several months. Still, he wouldn’t give any hints as to when or how he planned to propose. So I waited (sometimes impatiently, to which he will attest) for him to get everything ready.

On Saturday, May 12, 2007, I suspected nothing. Honestly, despite the fact that I was sure a proposal was coming soon, the possibility of it happening that weekend didn’t really enter my mind.

That morning, we had made plans to go to the Botanic Gardens after church. We had been there about a month before for a picnic (I absolutely love picnics), and it is beautiful. That time, I actually thought he might propose. Later, I thought about telling him that I would really like him to do it there, but decided against such an intervention, as he said he already knew what he planned to do. I didn’t suspect anything this time, though, because he asked very casually if I wanted to go. Plus, I was tired of getting my hopes up =P

We went to church in Fort Worth as usual. The building is always chilly, but it was especially freezing during the Bible study. Normally, Benjamin would have given me his jacket, but this time he kept it on, fanned himself with the handout, and offered to get my princess blanket out of the car. (He brought it up later, explaining that he didn’t want me to be wearing his jacket & notice the ring inside.)

During church I whispered that I was looking forward to going to the park. He took that opportunity to ask if I minded Ryan (his little brother) coming with us, because Ryan wanted to ride in his new car. I felt kindof let down, thinking that Benjamin should have known that I consider parks our own little romantic thing. I said that if he needed a ride home, we could just go another day, trying to hide my disappointment.

After church, Benjamin said that he would go pull up the car (since he had parked a long way out to avoid “dings”) while I finished my drink inside. However, it took him longer than I expected because, as I later learned, he needed to move the ring to his guitar case. Again I inadvertently interfered, when my impatience led me out to the car in my 4” heels.

When we arrived at the Botanic Gardens, he handed me the blanket and asked me to go set up under our tree while he found a way to cover his camera and guitar in the back seat. (Due to my previous interruption, he still needed to move the ring.) I unknowingly made his objective harder, insisting that we walk together. Finally I said, “just bring your camera with you, and leave your guitar uncovered in the car.” We walked to our tree and laid out the blanket. On the way, I saw some people taking wedding pictures, and pointed it out to Benjamin. I’ve been doing this from time to time, partially because I think it’s neat, and partially to remind him that I want to get married…as if he had forgotten lol.

As we were still wearing church clothes, Benjamin said he wanted to change into flip-flops. By this time, I was like, “It’s about to rain, and you’re concerned about changing out of your shoes?” He insisted on getting them from the car, so I waited. When he returned, he only brought his guitar.

He started playing a song from memory as usual, but then stopped. He picked up a page of tabs from his case, and told me he hadn’t put the rest back in there after he cleaned it out. I just thought, oh, ok…new song, cool, what is it?

Scanning the page as though he had not played the song before, he answered, “It’s called ‘Question’.” I’ve heard the song, so I’m sitting there thinking, “Greeeeat! I know he’s not going to propose today, yet he’s going to sight read this song about proposing.” I started to inform him of this little discrepancy, but he had already started playing. I figured, Oh well, he’ll figure it out in a minute, and we can have a good laugh. When he got to the chorus, I realized he knew the song and had picked it intentionally:

Someday somebody’s gonna ask you
A question that you should say yes to
Once in your life, maybe tonight
I’ve got a question for you.

I also grasped that he seemed to know the tune awfully well for never having heard it. I looked at his face, saw his nervousness and excitement, and focused on experiencing the final seconds of singleness.

When he finished the song, Benjamin set down his guitar and picked up a wooden ring box. By this time he was crying. He opened the box, and said, “I love you so much. Will you marry me?”

I, of course, immediately said “yes,” and leaned over to kiss my fiancé. I may have whispered it, because later he asked if I had actually ever said yes.

Then I finally got a good look at the ring. It was a beautiful square solitaire in a shiny platinum setting. I had not helped to pick out the ring, and even though he knew what cut I wanted, I had been a bit nervous about what he’d select. But as with everything he’s picked out for me, it was perfect. He started to hand it to me, but I said, “you have to put it on my finger!” When he slid the ring onto my finger, I was happier than ever.

I didn’t react at all how I always thought I would – I figured I’d either shriek or start bawling. I don’t think I fully believed everything that was happening. After all, he wasn’t “supposed” to do it then!

As we packed up and left, it started to rain. I love the rain, I love the park, and I love my wonderful husband-to-be.

I'm Engaged!

(Original post at www.abforever.blogspot.com)

I'm starting this blog because I'm entering what promises to be a very exciting time in my life. I know that one day, when all the planning is finished, all the hoping and waiting over, I will want to go back and remember everything that's happened, everything that I may not have experienced fully. Heh, now I'm crying lol.

Plus, if you ask Julie or Zahra or Mom, they'll tell you I've been a Blog Bum for the past 5 or 6 months, and that I "need to update!" And I like typing 'cause it gives me a nice view of my ring ;-)

I will start posting our engagement story and day-to-day happenings shortly. In the meantime, please visit our wedding website at www.mywedding.com/benjaminandadriane. Thanks!

Happy Mother's Day!

Hmm

I just discovered that turquoise eyeshadow looks really terrible on me. What shall I do?

"Technically," we have several songs. The one to which I'm referring, though, is "Time After Time" by Eva Cassidy.

Yeah...someone's gotta help me figure out the turquoise eyeshadow...

(Don't) Let it Snow

I've counted it up, and I believe it's snowed about 5 times this winter. Last year, it snowed once. WE LIVE IN TEXAS! I used to get excited about the snow, but now I'm over it. All I can say is that when it's cold, I'd rather have snow than rain or sleet :-p

I'm starting to really look forward to this weekend. Friday night there is a little Young Adults social, but Saturday is what I'm reeeeeally excited about...Benjamin & I will finally go to our first "real" dance. I have a dress that I LOVE (and we found Benjamin a matching turquoise tie!)...so even though the dress code is supposedly "dressy casual" we're going in a floor-length dress & a tux <3 I really hope they play our song at some point, but I'm not really counting on it.

Then on Sunday there is another social, and then we're heading down to Houston to visit my parents. They are looking forward to seeing the grandpuppy again :-p I shall have interviews with my 3rd grade teacher & my 6th grade science teacher! Mom, Benjamin & I have a sushi date planned too :)

We're just hoping that Benjamin will be over his flu/cold/bronchitis, from which he has been suffering since Sunday night, by Saturday.

Julie just walked in...we're trying to decide which movie to watch:
Julie: Why don't you have The American President?
Me: Because my mom jacked it.
Julie: She jacked it?
Me: She jacked it.
Julie: *gangster style* You should pop a cap!
Me: *confuzzled look*
Julie: It's new slang.

If I Were You...

You wanna know
Were we go from here
So many roads
But none that seem clear
Is what we have enough
To last a whole life through
Who know, baby who knows

So you're asking me
What do we do
Cause time moves so fast
And the chances seem so few
Is it too much to think
That we could have it all
Who knows, we may never know

But if I were you I'd promise to
Live life for all it's worth
Take all that you've been given
And leave your mark upon this earth
Trust your heart to show you
Everything you'll ever need
And if I were you
I'd fall in love with me

So hold me close
I'll kiss away your fears
I won't promise the moon
But I promise to be here
And what if together
It gets better every day
Who know, baby who knows

But if I were you I'd promise to
Live life for all it's worth
Take all that you've been given
And leave your mark upon this earth
Trust your heart to show you
Everything you'll ever need
And if I were you
I'd fall in love with me