Monday, March 13, 2006

Balls *giggle*

Last night we ordered the new Pizza Hut pizza with balls. We like the balls. We also like the garlic sauce stuff. It's probably 100% artificial. I'll die soon.

This morning I finally broke free from the prison that is Napster. I tired of paying $15 a month to download music, to which I could only continue listening by paying the ransom on the 14th of each month. When I went to cancel my subscription, they said "What, did you think it would be that easy? Did you not predict our customer service skills to be lacking, leading to a less than favorable impression on the majority of our customers? Instead of letting you cancel, which is what it said on the button you just pressed, we're going to be so kind as to give you our phone number, which you can call between the hours of 9 am & 9 pm, Eastern Standard Time, Monday thru Friday. We probably won't pick up the phone, because our customer service reps are taking a nap, a long lunch, a day off, or are playing some work-appropriate version of strip poker, and would prefer to continue their perversion rather than comply with their job description by answering the phone. Therefore, you will end up sitting on hold, using all of your cell phone minutes, for a very long time while we play popular music in the background and repeat our message about upgrading your contract every 12 seconds. You will be sitting there trying to read your assignment for Lit Analysis, but will be distracted by our constant playing of We Belong Together, eh eh eh. When we do answer the phone, we will tell you that your member ID does not exist, implying that the insane amount of time you've spent on the phone has given you dementia and cancer. Yes, both. We like to double up. Finally, we will ask you WHY you insist upon cancelling your subscription, as though we do not know the terrific crappiness that is our product. After you say that you have no intention of keeping it, we will put you on hold AGAIN while we claim to be "confirming" your cancellation. Really, we're just going back to our poker game. Was that Bob's shirt??"

Yes. That's what they said. Or maybe it's just the dementia kicking in.

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