Respecting Those Closest

Yesterday, my husband and I were talking, and I asked him, "What is the number one thing that I could change to make our relationship better?" He said, "Have a better attitude."

His response startled me. In my mind, I generally have a good attitude. I give people the benefit of the doubt, I’m careful not to snap at people who can’t control/didn’t cause my problem, and I work to let minor things go. I go so far as to think about what a stranger or acquaintance might be going through, and cut them slack.

But do I show the same consideration for my husband? Sadly, that answer is often a big “No.”

I come home from work most days tired, and either stressed or annoyed. Though I work hard not to take these feelings out on my husband, I do complain to him about them. What I didn’t realize is that to him, the two are often interchangeable.

Interestingly, I had read this post on BiblicalWomanhood.com on Thursday. Perhaps this loving Christian wife’s pitfall helped to me acknowledge my own, and be more open to the criticism of my husband than I might be otherwise. While it’s good to know that I’m not the only wife that falls into this pattern, it’s scary to think that women (or men) are habitually taking their frustrations from outside the home and planting them in the very place that, in my husband’s words, “is supposed to be safe.”

Benjamin & me on our honeymoon, August 2007

We have enough things to worry about at home without bringing in outside contamination. Home is supposed to be safe – and while “safe” to me may mean being able to voice my frustrations, “safe” to my husband is being able to enjoy his wife in a pleasant environment.

This is not to say that I should not share things that have a significant impact on our lives. I don’t think my husband would suggest that, either. But if I can strive to limit my venting to things that really matter, I will more thoroughly honor my husband. I want my life to revolve around home – not work, traffic, or trivial worries.

We should show the greatest respect and love to those closest to us. And though I had convinced myself that I was respecting him by being open, he only felt disrespected and dumped-on. I need to show his definition of respect, just as I want to be shown mine.

Stay-At-Home Moms in Perspective

Browsing Biblical Womanhood during lunch, I came across the following article. I am not a mom, of course, but this excerpt spoke to the purpose of stay-at-home moms that I know and respect, and the reasons behind my wanting to be one someday.

If I identify myself as the culture does, as a "stay at home Mom", one who has no intellectual contribution, gross-national product contribution or status symbol contribution, I become just that: a woman who sees herself as one who has grunted and groaned out another human being and now stays behind her four walls, in self-inposed seclusion. Not much of a vision there--it actually sounds strangely psychotic.

If I deem myself as a woman employed by the Creator of everything ever created, as on work assignment in a sacred domain for the sculpting of souls that will exist forever and forever without end, I have a burning passion of purpose. And a paycheck that is said to be beyond what eye or ear can even comprehend!

Read the full article here!

New Year's Resolutions

I’m not a fan of “New Year’s resolutions,” but I figured I could rouse my blog out of hibernation since it’s now 2009. In my experience with friends who make resolutions, they often seem to get lost in the clutter of everyday life by mid-March or so. It’s almost as though the more important something seems at the beginning of the year, the farther it can travel to the bottom of the “to do” list.

At the same time, though, shouldn’t we set goals for ourselves? Shouldn’t we pick a time to start improving in some way, and then work hard to stick with it? Isn’t the turning of the calendar year as good a time as any?

I know that some people can set goals, and achieve them all year long. For those people, I admire your commitment and resolve. It’s amazing! And some goals do, indeed, lend themselves to a January-to-December time frame.

However, many goals may be better supported by a different calendar. I know people at church who, after the Passover in the spring or the Feast of Tabernacles in the fall, will set a spiritual goal to accomplish by the next festival season. Maybe it’s baptism, or reading the entire Bible, or praying every day. Not only do these types of goals have a deep and lasting benefit, they’re also based on God’s calendar!

This, of course, is not to downplay the importance of achievement on a more (for lack of a better word) superficial level. But these, too, can often work on a different schedule. For example, young women frequently set a goal at some point during the year to lose pounds or inches by the following summer. You may give yourself a deadline of a week or two to completely clean your house – or just the living room. Something as short-term as a certification exam or a test at school can be an equally worthwhile, and perhaps more achievable goal.

And for me, achievable is a necessary trait in a goal. With my busy schedule and long list of “to do…eventually,” crossing off a task, no matter how small, feels amazing. For more long-term goals, I find myself putting off starting a project or regimen, feeling as though it’s not worth it to do 1 page of my scrapbook when I want to do the whole thing, or exercise 1 day this week if I know that the other days won’t be open. I need to learn to accept little victories, and celebrate them as such.

So I guess the point is that any time is a good time to commit to change in our lives. Any time is a good time to make a dent in a project, if we can make that “dent” the goal. After all, it’s when we’re the most motivated to grow that we will be most successful. And that can happen on January 1 or the middle of July.

A New Beginning

It’s been about a month since I last updated this thing! So much has happened and changed, but every time I think I need to post, I realize that I don’t have the time to update on everything, and put it off even more. Funny how that happens, I guess.

So here are the highlights!


~ Move to Fort Worth ~

Benjamin & I moved from Richardson to Fort Worth on July 27. Although it took us what felt like an eternity to pack up our 530 square foot apartment, the actual move only took a couple of hours. That’s probably due in large part to his parents, grandparents, and a family friend offering their assistance. The night before we moved, Benjamin didn’t get to sleep until around 4:00 am. I fought the urge to sleep, knowing that a couple of hours would leave me acting totally drugged the next day. Instead, I bought massive amounts of packing tape and bubble wrap, as I had underestimated how much we would use. It’s amazing how much stuff we fit into our first apartment!

I love the new apartment. It’s only about 250 square feet bigger than the one in Richardson, but it feels like twice the size. We have several large closets, and our unit doesn’t share any walls with the neighbors. That means that we have 3 huge windows in the living room and 2 in the bedroom.

While I started organizing the apartment, Benjamin jumped into making it a nicer place for us to be in general. It’s in a middle-quality area, right between the “bad part” and the “good part” of town. The complex is old, but it seems like it’s been taken care of and we got an outstanding deal on it. Still, it was nice to have my husband do a few things that really made a huge difference. Here are a few of the nice things he did:

• Replaced all of the light fixtures. The ones that came with it were old and dirty, and we couldn’t get them clean again. Changing the fixtures also sealed the ceiling better, so that the cigarette smoke from our upstairs neighbors would not seep in.
• Changed all of the doorknobs. We brought our own high-quality lock, and he got silver knobs to match on the interior. He put a lock on our big closet as well.
• Put shelves in the pantry. The “pantry” in the kitchen is tiny, and I was disappointed to again have an apartment without a real pantry. I find that the kitchen is so much easier to keep organized when everything has a place, which is not as feasible without a pantry. Very quickly, though, we decided to use the closet in the dining area as the pantry, and the “pantry” as a drink cabinet (liquor, coffee, tea, sodas, etc). So he built some extra shelves in the closet, and now it’s perfect for our food & the appliances that we don’t use constantly.
• Hung curtains. We picked out some double curtain rods, so we chose tan for the curtain next to the window in both rooms, and avocado green for the curtain that shows in the living room and black in the bedroom. (We started with burgundy, but it didn’t look right with the comforter.) He did lots of drilling, which resulted in lots of vacuuming for me, but now it looks so nice. He even ironed them! (I hate ironing, myself.)
• Printed & hung photos. We’ve had a photo printer for months, but we haven’t really used it. Benjamin has gone nuts printing all of our favorite pictures to display, now, though. Lots of them are in black & white, and he’s done a nice job making them look top notch. I’d really like to learn how to do that sometime. It’s like we really live there now!
• Changed the shower head. He came home one day with a giant thing that looks like my diffuser for my blow dryer! It’s really nice though…there are 2 settings on it, and it sits higher in the shower (the other one was crazy low), so we don’t knock ourselves out now =P

We did have some problems though. Rather than get all into the specifics (I'll go nuts, I’m sure), I'll just do bullet points again. Rest assured, though, we have ample documentation (including letters and photos) in case this turns into a bigger issue.

• Broken window. Before we moved in, they assured us that they would have the broken window in the living room fixed by our move-in date. It looked fixed, so we thought it was fine. The office staff had been really nice & seemed concerned about us being happy. Two weeks later, when Benjamin was measuring for curtains, he noticed that not only was the “window” not even glass, but it wasn’t installed! It had been cut, set in the frame, and held in place with a screen on the outside. Benjamin popped it right out! Needless to say, we were both furious. I took the window (yes, the window) to the leasing offices (both of them) to insist on it being fixed immediately. They were scheduled to be open, being a Sunday early afternoon, but they weren’t. I called the emergency number, which was “not in service.” I then left a message on their office voicemail expressing my irritation and telling them that it needed to be fixed before we went to bed. Benjamin boarded up the window for safety that night. The next day, Benjamin spoke to the office staff 3 times, and each time they promised him that it would be fixed by 4 pm. They even said that the glass man had just arrived at the complex and was on his way to our unit. They never came. So on Tuesday he spoke to the manager, who had never been alerted to the issue. It was fixed that afternoon. I usually don’t like to be demanding, especially when I feel like there’s no need to be a pain. But seriously, the window is 2”x2”, and either one of us (or a criminal) could have just climbed right in. And we’re on the first floor. Unbelievable.
• Deviants. There are 3 boys that live in our building that like to sit right outside our bedroom window and talk, laugh, fight, bounce their basketball, etc, anytime between 10:30 pm and 3:00 am. At first, I would go outside (because I’m a woman & less threatening) and ask them to keep it down. Once there were about 10-12 of them, and one guy started acting aggressive. So at that point, I went inside & called the police while Benjamin went outside & started asking for names. Long story short, to date we’ve had to call several times, and each time the officer that comes says that they have to give a warning before they can issue a ticket. We’ve also given letters to the apartment manager requesting her support. I know they probably get complaints all the time, but they sit on the air conditioner, and talk so loudly that it wakes us up. I don’t want to give too much information, because it’s kindof a legal thing, but the good news is that we haven’t had any problems in almost a week! We’re really hoping this continues, because we need more than 4-5 hours of sleep lol.
• Fleas. When we first moved in, Monte got covered in fleas, and he’s never had them before. I freaked out, and started giving him baths almost every day, vacuuming at least once a day, and washing everything in hot water. My mom even sent us some Capstar tablets for him, which kill all of the fleas that are on him. I know how hard it can be to get rid of fleas once there’s an infestation, and I did NOT want to deal with that. But, they seem to have subsided. We keep him out of the bushes and I’m still vacuuming & bathing him a lot. A flea comb is a great tool, too. Just sit there with a bowl of hot water with Dawn in it, and rinse the comb in the water after each stroke. It kills 'em!

In general, we love our new apartment, and it feels so nice to have started again in a new place.

~ Wedding Anniversary ~

Benjamin & I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary on Monday, August 4. The day started with me leaving at 6:00 am to go to Plano for my US History exam. Then, since I had taken the day off work, I went home and began my exciting day. I picked up sushi at Central Market on the way home, then took a shower, fixed my hair, put on a sundress, did some light cleaning, and then met Benjamin at his office for lunch. I wanted to have a picnic at the Botanic Gardens (where he proposed), but it was so hot, and he was wearing his business clothes. He gets hot so easily anyway – as sentimental as it would be, I thought subjecting him to the heat wouldn’t be very loving. So we went home for lunch, and I put a blanket down on the living room floor for our air conditioned picnic.

After lunch, I went to the mall to pick up his present. I knew I needed to be home by 5:00, because he said his plans started then. With paper being the traditional first anniversary gift, I really wanted to have our marriage certificate framed in an engraved frame. But our marriage certificate is a really odd size, and there was no way I was going to cut it. So, that was out of the question. Instead, I bought him some nice cuff-links as well as a French-cuff shirt from Express. Those are his favorite, but he doesn’t like to spend that much on himself for a shirt. I, however, justified it with it being our anniversary.

When he got home, we exchanged gifts. He got me a silver clock with 12 tiny black frames around it. (Last weekend he printed black & white pictures & put them in the frames.) He also gave me a burgundy scrapbook that will look nice in our bedroom or even our living room, some scrapbooking supplies, a big black storage for all of that, some black frames (which he put some photos in for the living room), and a photo chest with spaces for pictures on the top. I think I may use it as a jewelry box instead of a photo box, though it’s quite big and it doesn’t have a latch. Either way, it’ll be great to use.

After presents, I went to touch up my makeup, as I’d been running around all day. He told me I really didn’t need to do that, to “trust him,” but I did it anyway J I wanted to look nice for our anniversary! He had made a reservation for us to get a couples massage at a spa downtown. I had no idea where we were, and knowing that I am afraid of needles, he jokingly told me we were there for Botox. The massage was relaxing & very thoughtful, and I was ready to go to sleep after that. But he had made dinner reservations at a tiny Italian restaurant that I’d never heard of. He said it came highly recommended, and it was so nice. We were seated in a corner away from the other guests, and it provided a very romantic atmosphere. The food was delicious, though we ended up trading half-way through. They gave us complimentary champagne & dessert, too.

I had told Benjamin that our anniversary is very important to me, and I wanted to do something special. I said that either he could plan something, or we could plan something together. He took over, and did a wonderful job. I hope I can do something equally amazing next year for him.

~ College Graduation ~

This summer I took 15 hours (5 courses) so that I could go ahead & finish my degree. I took Criminal Justice, World Music and Advanced Composition at the university, and Statistics and US History at the community college. I finished my last final exam on August 14.

Unfortunately, I’ve had trouble getting my community college transcript to the university. Now they’re saying I might not be able to officially graduate until the fall. Of course, this is all simply because of a time difference in when grades are available at the 2 schools, and has little to do with me. But they’ve extended my deadline until Thursday at 5:00 pm, so hopefully it’ll all work. Otherwise, I'll be finished, but just won’t have my diploma until December.

Picture Links!

I realized that I don't have very many pictures on here! And since I just went through & copied all of my wedding blog posts into this one, I thought I'd update other stuffs too!

These are all of the pictures that I have on Facebook.

~ WEDDING PICTURES ~
Engagement Pictures
Rehearsal
Getting Ready
Ceremony
Reception
Honeymoon

~ COLLEGE PICTURES ~
Fall 2005
Spring 2006
Dallas Formal 2006
Zahra's Birthday
Summer 2006
Fall 2006 (1)
Fall 2006 (2)
Snow Day 2006
Spring 2007

~ SPECIAL ALBUMS ~
Mommy
Monte
Feast 2006
High School

It's "Pubic" Not "Public"

This isn't a hard concept, people.

Two days this week, I went into the bathroom at work & was unpleasantly surprised to find a pubic hair on the toilet seat. I always use the same stall, so the perpetrator probably does too. I don't understand how that can even get on the toilet seat unless you're sitting really funny. But if it does, clean it off!

The same goes for little tinkle drops. In fact, that's even grosser.

So please, just like you check your teeth in the mirror when you leave, please check to make sure you haven't left a present for the next person to use the potty :)

Mouse Droppings

I was driving down Park Lane today on my way to complete a shop, and I saw the weirdest thing! A car pulled out in front of me, and so I slowed down to stay a safe distance behind it. Good thing I did, because as soon as they started going straight, someone in the car dropped a MOUSE out the window! I was so surprised, I couldn't decide whether that was one of those things you slam on the brakes for. So I slowed down, and the mouse scurried across a couple of lanes without getting squished. It was quite a sight!

A Woman's Right to Choose: Beyond the Abortion Controversy

I have decided to post my paper, which attacks (based on philosophical & ethical grounds) the practice of requiring gynecological prodding in exchange for hormonal birth control. I've been hesitant, since I did turn the paper in for a class, but as I don't plan to adapt the paper for any future classes at this point, I don't mind posting it. Just for records' sake, though, in case professors look online, I turned in this paper for my Medical Ethics course in March 2008, and an adapted version for Advanced Composition in June 2008.

I was prompted to go ahead and post my essay after reading a very helpful post by another woman on her blog. Please visit http://crackerscentral.com/wordpress/?p=57 to read.

“A Woman's Right to Choose"

Beyond the Abortion Controversy

“Our body is a machine for living. It is organized for that, it is its nature. Let life go on in it unhindered and

let it defend itself, it will do more than if you paralyze it by encumbering it with remedies.”

(Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace)

Amid the fight for property, suffrage, and abortion, the right to medical options for women has somehow managed to escape the eyes of society. As a result, women remain almost powerless to determine the best method of gynecological care for them. Restrictions placed on oral contraceptives, widespread insistence on annual invasive examinations, and the enthusiastic following for the new HPV vaccine are socially accepted norms to which physicians rigidly adhere. Although research exists to maintain these standards for certain health reasons, equally strong evidence supports the bending or elimination of these stringent practices in favor of the patient's physical and mental wellbeing.

Most medical professionals recommend that women have an annual pelvic exam for one prevailing reason: The early detection of the human papillomavirus (HPV) and cervical cancer. Prior to the 1950's when the pap test became a regular tool for detecting cancerous and pre-cancerous cells, cervical cancer was the number one cancer-caused death in women. Some studies have shown that use of the test has reduced deaths from the disease by 70% ₂. Other reasons include the detection of ovarian, endometrial, and breast cancers, sexual education, and the evaluation of irregular symptoms such as debilitating menstrual cramps, excessive bleeding, and missed periods. Women, according to gynecologists, should begin these annual exams soon after becoming sexually active, but no later than age 21 ₁.
Research also cites a correlation between long-term hormonal contraceptive use and HPV, with an increased risk of cervical cancer ₃. Doctors frequently deny contraceptive prescriptions to patients without a pelvic exam, referencing this medical mantra, as being for the "good of the patient."
However, ethicists are not so willing to accept this hardwired view of "good." Edmund D. Pellegrino, in his book The Internal Morality of Medicine, suggests four individual components to the patient's own good: the medical good, the patient's perception of the good, the good to humans, and the spiritual good. Not surprisingly, the component most frequently found in medical practice is "the medical good," focusing on what will keep the patient most physically healthy. However, Pellegrino writes, "What is medically 'good' simply on grounds of physiological effectiveness may not be 'good', if it violates higher levels of good, like the patient's good as he perceives that good" ₄. Physicians must be "concerned with the patient's personal preferences, choices, and values…the balance he strikes between the benefit and burdens of the proposed intervention" ₄. For some women, the burdens of mainstream gynecological examinations may include emotional distress, feelings of invasion, and betrayal of religious commitment. In many cases, the benefit of early cancer detection, for which most are not at risk, does not outweigh the harm done on a personal level.
Emergency contraception, which contains the highest doses of the hormones in birth control ₅, is not regulated nearly as severely as daily-dose contraception. In fact, adults can acquire the morning after pill as easily as they would Tylenol, simply by driving to a pharmacy and requesting it. Minors in some states require a prescription (given over the phone) or a parent's help to get the pills ₅. In Canada, Plan B has been lowered from "prescription only" to "Schedule II (behind the counter)" status, resulting in a greater in-store supply in many pharmacies" ₆.
Plan B, effective if taken up to five days after intercourse, can cause the disintegration of a developing embryo. Regardless of the morality of abortion, this is definitely more potent and potentially damaging than low-dose hormonal contraceptives.
Yet, "the American Medical Association and the Society for Adolescent Medicine…recently recommended that physicians provide their patients with emergency contraception before they need it" ₅. Advocates for Youth shouts, "Don't wait...go out and get emergency contraception before you need it!" ₅. Why isn't this encouragement and ease of access afforded to women who responsibly plan in advance?
Proponents of annual pelvic exams quote statistics of increased cervical cancer rates in users of birth control. Taken appropriately and in the lowest effective dose, however, oral contraceptives can actually improve a woman's health. Well-known benefits include the decrease in menstrual cramps and protection against anemia, ovarian cysts and symptoms of PMS ₉. Hormonal contraceptives have also been shown to reduce the risk of endometrial and ovarian cancers by up to 80 percent, especially when taken for an extended period, regardless of the dosage ₈.
Cervical cancer, which many experts believe to increase in likelihood with the introduction of contraception, actually may reduce some risk as well. For young women, “evidence of significantly lower incidence of HPV infections in oral contraceptive users than in non-users has been reported” ₃. As a long-term benefit, “regularization of menstrual pattern with hormonal contraceptive use could improve mucosal immunity, and, therefore, immunity to HPV infection, and lower the risk of cervical cancer in later life” ₃.
In reality, cervical cancer is caused by a few specific factors, which many women do not have. According to the World Book Encyclopedia, the main causes include HPV, smoking or inhaling second-hand smoke, sex as a young teenager, and having sex with multiple partners or a man who has had many partners ₇. HIV is also serious indication ₂.
Still, the leading cause remains the human papillomavirus. HPV is less harmful than medical professionals readily explain, with 80 percent of people contracting the virus at some point during life. The majority of these cases disappear on their own, often without the carrier ever knowing they are infected. As the Women in Government organization stresses, “An HPV infection rarely leads to cervical cancer. In most women…the body’s immune system destroys the HPV infection” ₂.
Professionals stress the cancer’s deadliness due to its lack of symptoms. However, some early symptoms actually exist, among them unusual vaginal discharge, spotting, and pain during intercourse. Even these symptoms do not guarantee the disease, but merely suggest further testing, such as a pelvic exam ₂. HPV, though feared greatly as a result of the newly-popular “Will you be one less?” campaign for the innovative vaccine, is more benign than society knows.
In addition to the pap test, new methods of screening for cervical cancer are available, which have been shown to give results more accurately and quickly than the traditional technique. Using the same pelvic exam, a liquid-based pap test can be more accurate, and therefore administered biannually, because the cells are removed from other fluids for close examination. Though not recommended for all ages, an HPV test can be used simultaneously with a pap test for more accurate results ₂.
An article in the Journal of the American Medical Association provides shocking news for women hoping to avoid a traditional pelvic exam. Testing of a self-collected test has shown it to be “less specific than but as sensitive as Papanicolaou smears for detecting high-grade cervical disease” ₁₂. The rates of false positives are higher in the self-collected tests, which one could argue makes the test less helpful. However, the more sensitive the test, the greater a tool it can be for detecting a problem and suggesting further, more traditional, testing. To clear up any doubt, the new test was cross-checked for accuracy with four other cervical cancer screening tests, including the pap test ₁₁. “The availability of a noncytologic screening method not requiring a vaginal speculum examination,” suggests Dr. Thomas Wright and his fellow authors, “may reduce underscreening” ₁₂.
The self-collected test also appears to take less time to produce results, often available within two to six days of the sample. Alternatively, pap test results were not given to patients for about eight weeks. “A patient’s aversion to undergoing pelvic examinations may be difficult to overcome. Testing for HPV DNA by self-collected vaginal swabs at the time a woman provides a routine urine sample would eliminate the need for a speculum examination and would convert cervical cancer screening to a simple laboratory test” ₁₂. Doctors, for whatever reason, do not eagerly disclose these alternatives to their patients, providing cause for concern among patients that they are not being shown all of their options.
As a result, some agencies will delay the requirement for an exam for up to a year after contraception is started. Planned Parenthood, through a program called HOPE (Hormonal Options without Pelvic Exam), allows young women to start on any method of birth control after a medical history questionnaire and a blood pressure check. Though they recommend annual exams, this stereotyped organization actually recognizes the uneasiness experienced by women faced with such a procedure. However, Planned Parenthood will supply only one year’s worth of contraceptives through this program, eventually forcing women into the same standard of protocol to which most doctors subscribe ₁₀. Instead, this organization and others ought to recognize the long-term need for their temporary options. If a young woman can start taking a hormone without a diagnostic test to use as the control, there is no reason to insist upon the test if symptoms do not develop.
In the United States today, women have access to emergency contraception as frequently as they need it, they can obtain abortions with little or no counseling, and they can have long-lasting cosmetic surgery without second opinions. Doctors recommend that smokers quit and that heart disease patients diet and exercise, but they can not force their patients to follow their suggested regimens. Instead, they advise, and then work with the individual patient to develop a treatment or prevention plan that fits his or her personal needs. Gynecologists, to fulfill their calling to work for the patient’s good, need to focus on these individual needs more acutely than the ever-prevalent current standard.
Just as extensive cardiovascular tests are not widely recommended for young, active men with no family history of heart disease, we find no pressing need for women without risk factors for gynecological maladies to have tests for such. There is no reason to require a pap test unless the patient has disclosed something to warrant such a procedure.
In fact, a patient's lifestyle may even do the opposite. Married women with no previous sexual partners and a clear family history may be harmed more than helped. "This anxiety may be greater than the fear of pregnancy, and women might…prefer to switch…to condoms" ₃. This, however, severely limits a woman's options, when there is no critical medical reason to do so. Consider the abortion issue. Few today would suggest limiting a woman's options to adoption in an unwanted pregnancy. Though it can be argued that nine months of pregnancy and birth are more "inconvenient" than the potential discomfort of a condom, we should remember that the first may involve an individual's promiscuity, while the second may have the effect of punishment for harmless personal preference.
Other groups with deep-seated belief factors are happily accommodated, and rightly so, by the medical community. Some Jehovah's Witnesses will not submit to a blood transfusion for reasons of faith. These people carry cards marked "No Blood Transfusion!" with them, quoting the book of Leviticus. Though the Watchtower Blood Policy changed in 2006, many members of this faith still will not receive blood transfusions ₁₃. However, an injured Jehovah's Witness would be helped in any alternative way possible, with reverence for his personal choices. Women who object to invasive exams for similar reasons should be provided the same courtesy and respect.
Physicians have the right to refuse to provide treatment methods to which they have ethical objections, including denial of prescriptions to women who do not submit to tests. However, perhaps the growing fears associated with passing up routine exams in favor of personal choice would not be so prevalent if knowledge of opposing evidence was more common. Women have come so far in their quest for rights and autonomy, from the right to vote to the "pro-choice" movement. We have these rights, ethical or not, but in striving for them, we have overlooked other fundamental choices to which women should have access. Raising awareness, and fighting for these forgotten freedoms, will bring us one step closer to the indubitable right to choose.

Works Cited

1 “Your First Pelvic Exam: A Guide for Teens.” First Pelvic Exam. 2007. Young Women’s Health. 15 Feb. 2008 .

2 Women in Government. “Frequently Asked Questions About Cervical Cancer & Human Papillomavirus (HPV).” Challenge to Eliminate Cervical Cancer. 17 Feb. 2008 <http://www.womeningovernment.org/prevention/documents/03CervicalCancerHPV.CCFAQ1-26-07.pdf>.

3 Brabin, Loretta and Fiona Barr. “Oral contraceptives and cervical cancer.” The Lancet. 360 (2000): 409-410.

4 Pellegrino, Edmund D. The Internal Morality of Medicine. Pages 569-570.

5 “How to Get Emergency Contraception.” Advocates for Youth. 2008. Advocates for Youth. 18 Feb. 2008 .

6 Dunn, Sheila et al. “Availability of emergency contraception after its deregulation from prescription-only status: a survey of Ontario pharmacies.” Canadian Medical Association. (February 12, 2008): 423-424.

7 “Cervical Cancer.” World Book Encyclopedia. World Book, Inc. Volume 2. Chicago, 2003.

8 “Lowest-Dose Birth Control Pills Provide the Greatest Ovarian Cancer Protection.” International Family Planning Perspectives. 33.2 (June 2007): 89-90.

9 “Birth Control Pills.” Planned Parenthood. 2008. Planned Parenthood. 10 Feb. 2008 .

10 “HOPE: Pills Without an Exam.” Planned Parenthood of the Mid-Hudson Valley, Inc. 2008. Planned Parenthood. 10 Feb. 2008 .

11 “Science Blog.” Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. 2000. Science Blog. 17 Feb. 2008 .

12 Wright, Thomas C. et al. “HPV DNA Testing of Self-collected Vaginal Samples Compared With Cytologic Screening to Detect Cervical Cancer.” The Journal of American Medical Association. 283.1 (January 5, 2000): 81-86.

13 “Watchtower Blood Policy.” 2008. AJWRB. 17 Feb. 2008

The views and information represented above are intended for personal use only.

Any other use of the material must be cited completely.

Windex Cures...Gnats?

Since I'm off work today, I'm being very productive. My long list of "to do's" is slowly shrinking, but it's only noon!

We've been having a problem with gnats lately. I don't know if they technically bite, but it sure feels like it. I get these teeny tiny itchy spots on my arms when they're around. So I took out all the trash, cleaned the kitchen really well, and even washed out the trash cans.

I was almost finished cleaning the bathroom when I turned around and saw about 10 gnats on my already-cleaned mirror. I started smooshing them, but of course that made the mirror dirty again, and I was only able to get a couple of them.

That's when I decided to use Windex! That enabled me to get about 3 at a time, and then they basically just dropped dead! My mirror was clean again, and I had 10 fewer gnats to deal with :)

The Adventures of Montezuma

Yesterday was a fun day for Monte. He seemed a little perkier than normal (which is really saying something), and his behavior rather amused me.

First, I took him outside after work. Since he seemed eager to run around, I let him off his leash & we played fetch with Bear. Then, all of a sudden, he ran over to the swimming pool gate, slipped between the bars, and trotted over to the steps (I had set him on the first step a few days ago to get him used to "swimming"). I set him on the top step, thinking he would try to jump right back out, but he just started drinking the water! It was as though he liked the taste of chlorine! So then I had to take him out...we don't want him getting chlorine poisoning.

When we went back in, I put him back in the bathroom with the baby gate so that I could do some reading. Mom & Chester gave him a strange-looking toy that's shaped like a cat head & tail attached by a rope. This is one of his favorite "group toys" so we always take it when he'll have other dogs around. What was funny, though, was that Chloe came up to the gate, laid down, and started sticking her paws through the gate. Monte responded by bringing the cat toy over to her, and they started playing with it together! It was cute to watch :)

After class, I came home & took a bath because I wasn't feeling very well. Monte always loves it when I take baths, because he can put his front feet up on the side of the tub & feel as tall as me. He gives me lots of kisses on my nose, and brings Bear to me to throw for him. But last night, after the first couple of times I threw Bear, he ran up to the tub and flung it in with me! It was hilarious! I didn't want him playing with a wet toy after that, so I put Bear up on the toilet seat lid. Monte got frustrated, because he kept reaching up to grab it, but he just missed it each time. Finally I put Bear on the floor mat so he could play. Then, he got so excited that he actually jumped up onto the side of the bath tub...all 4 feet! I think it startled him as much as it startled me, because he immediately jumped down. He's not really fond of baths lol.

Degree Plan - Literary Studies

So, here's my list of classes over the last 3 years (and a summer)!

I've even decided to have some school spirit and use orange & green! (Though slightly more tolerable hues.)

Fall 2005
HUMA 1301 Exploration of the Humanities
ARTS 1301 Exploration of the Arts
RHET 1101 Freshman Rhetoric
GOVT 2301 Government I
GEOS 1303 Geology
GEOS 1103 Geology Lab
PHIN 1120 Yoga
MUSI 2324 Orchestra

Spring 2006
LIT 2341 Literary Analysis
LIT 3330 Linguistics
GST 2300 Gender Studies
GOVT 2302 Government II
BIOL 1318 Human Genetics

Fall 2006
LIT 3320 Shakespeare
LIT 3329 African American Literature
MATH 1306 College Algebra
BIOL 3350 Pathophysiology
HUMA 3300 Nature, Science & Medicine
GOVT 3322 Constitutional Law

Spring 2007
LIT 3300 Western Literary Tradition
LIT 3314 Masculinity (Prose Narratives)
LIT 4348 Mechanical Structure & Syntax
ED 3314 American Public School
PSY 3339 Educational Psychology

Summer 2007
ISGS 4308 Forensic Anthropology

Fall 2007
LIT 3319 British Literature to 1850
LIT 4344 European Fiction
PHIL 2301 History of Philosophy
HIST 2301 Texas History
No Credit First Year Leader

Spring 2008
MUSI 3381 Orchestra II
MUSI 4V71 Advanced Chamber Music Ensemble
PHIL 4380 Medical Ethics
GOVT 4341 Politics of the Judicial Process
PSY 4346 Human Sexuality

Summer 2008
LIT 33?? Advanced Composition
MATH ? Statistics (CCCC)
HIST 1302 US History I (CCCC)
MUSI 3322 World Music
CJS 1301 Intro to Criminal Justice

38 Down, 3 to Go!

Today I finished another class! Boy, am I glad to be done with World Music. What was supposed to be a really interesting class turned out to be a lot of babying and busy work, and while I respect a professor's right to format a class they way they like, I'm thankful that this particular course is over and I can be more efficient with my time. (That also means no more Wednesdays that look like this: 5 hours work, 20 minute drive, 10 minute breather, 4 1/2 hour class #1, 4 1/2 hour class #2, collaps.)

My Criminal Justice final is tomorrow. I can make an 84/105 and still have an A in the class, but I'm so concerned about it. I made a big mistake by not studying the court cases earlier, and thinking there were just a few. There are like 50! Bleh.

I still have my Advanced Composition class, since it's a full-summer class. My final project is due August 6. I'm bummed that I'll be having to work on it over our anniversary weekend, but perhaps I'll get in gear and finish it early!

In 2 weeks, I'll start my online History class, which ends on August 14. I wish I knew what to expect there, because I'd like to tweek my work schedule to keep my driving down once we move.

At some point I'll post a list of all of my college classes. I know myself well enough to know that I'll want to have something (other than my degree plan) to refer back to when school has totally left my brain.

Countdowns!
Anniversary = 35 days
Graduation = 45 days

Comments

It's been brought to my attention that I can limit comments on my blog to those registered with some sort of ID (though I don't claim to understand exactly what kind of ID...it's called "Open ID"). Since most public forums (and almost all private ones, like mine) require that users identify themselves, I'm going to follow that example. I didn't choose the "Google accounts" option, as I know that not everyone has or uses a Google account. Instead, it's the OpenID, which I believe accommodates AIM screen names and other similar usernames. This isn't a jab at anyone, nor is it an attempt to dissuade people from commenting. It's just my attempt to limit those commenting on my blog to serious people who take personal credit for their opinions, as I have.

Jello Shots

We made jello shots this weekend. Actually, we made them twice. The first set were lime with vodka. I couldn't eat them, because the smell of vodka makes me think of the doctor's office and needles. I didn't realize when we made them that they'd smell so much!

The second set was orange with tequila. I liked them a little bit more, but I could still taste the alcohol. I guess I don't really like the taste of alcohol.

I keep on trying new things, as they say, but I keep reverting back to my favorite margarita. I suppose now I can at least say I've tried it!

...But now we have a bunch of jello in the pantry that I don't know what to do with. Maybe non-alcoholic jello shots?

I'm so tired of school...

I just thought I'd mention that.

Promises & Promiscuity

One of the things that bothers me about other people is their inherent tendency to be stupid. I certainly count myself under that umbrella, but I think it's safe to say that I think things through before taking a wrong action. And while it may be unfair to demand my values of others, it shouldn't be too much to hold them to their own.

I also don't like the term "pre-marital sex." Where did the "pre" come from, anyway? As I understand it, this is society's non-judgmental way of saying, "They just did it in a different order. They make their own choices, deviated from the crowd" as if their toying with a precious and sacred concept is the equivalent of ordering from the Burger King menu. "Have it your way" has become an all-too-natural behavioral mantra.

What we should be calling it is "non-marital sex." You weren't pre married, you were non married! Of course, this too has earned liberal acceptance. And, oh my, we wouldn't want to offend someone who did it their own way.

Certainly, there are people who just don't care. They've never cared, they don't consider consequences, and they are simply entitled. They were probably raised by parent-people who also never cared and felt entitled. These people, with some exception, are a lost cause by the time they hit their upper teenage years. They've learned a lifestyle, and to teach them differently would be to deprive them of what they once had.

But then there are people that know better. They claim beliefs, both religious and ethical, and vow to stand by them. They convince friends and family of their character and complain about those that deviate from such values. And it is these people who bother me the most when they falter. To deny values is one thing. To hypocritically profess them is another entirely.

I'm sick of my religious friends shacking up. I'm sick of them acting like it's "no big deal," when in fact they have surrendered their moral foundation for the opportunity to "be in love." I'm sick of the sanctity of my marriage (flawed as it may be) being trampled by the widespread approval of someone else's semblance of one.

I'm sick of supposedly chaste girls getting pregnant in high school (or middle school, or college, or their 30's). Though pregnancy itself is not the cause of my sickness, it certainly adds to the number of people their bad decisions impact. I'm sick of young women thinking it's ok to bypass important steps. Do they realize that the life into which they're bringing their baby is not good? Do they even think about the potential consequences - to themselves and their potential children - before spreading it for their horny high school boyfriends? If so, it doesn't seem to stick.

For the religious folk, consider this: You have sex, you're married. That's how God sees it. He doesn't appreciate your methodology, but you've consummated your relationship. You don't get a party. You don't get congratulations. You don't get to wear the pretty white dress.

Except that you do. And that makes me sick.

And when you get pregnant. You don't get a shower. You don't get the adoration of little girls who call you their idol. You don't get to think about how this affects you.

Except that, once again, you do. That makes me sick, too.

But the worst part is the scarcity of regard for the sanctity of sex and life. I am a married woman. Benjamin and I were both virgins when we said "I do." As a result, we share a special bond with each other that few modern young people can claim. Don't you think we were attracted to each other while we were dating? Don't you think we had opportunities to screw around? Don't you think I want babies? Duh!

But we were responsible. Some people think that "getting lost in the moment," having to "do" your significant other right then is a sign of insatiable love that no one understands. Guess what? We do understand - all of us who have made the right choices and retained our ethical premises. Jumping into bed with your high school sweetheart isn't love, it's horniness. And caving into those feelings doesn't make your relationship special and unique, it makes your relationship common and short-sighted.

I guess this is all grounded in my selfishness. I want my responsible choices to be viewed as positive, instead of being dismissed as old-fashioned. I don't want my life to be considered unexciting. And I don't want the things that I want so much in life to be taken for granted, even found inconvenient, by those who haven't earned them.

But when I really think about it, my life is exciting. I have a husband from whom I receive safety and love. We are passionate and loving, and we share a security of which unmarried couples can only dream. So I don't have a new guy every few months, but I get to keep a pretty great one. I don't have a baby to care for, but when I do, he or she will be a cherished blessing. And when I go to sleep tonight, I know that I will be waking up next to the same man tomorrow and for years to come. That's exciting.

Job Search & Apartment Hunt

I'm getting frustrated. Actually, I've been frustrated, and now I'm really frustrated.

First, the job.
I can't find one. Not one that I like, anyway. And my resume is up to date, but needs some serious revisions. And by the time I get a new job, I'll have a college degree, for goodness sakes, and I would kindof like to be sought after! I know that's selfish, but that's what 15 hours in the summer is doing to me. I'm getting cranky. And frustrated, but we already covered that. Actually, I would be perfectly with a high-level executive assistant position, as long as I actually got to make judgments and didn't have numerous random people hovering. What I'm really looking for is technical writing. It'll get my foot in the door, so to speak, with the writing community, but won't be as competitive as journalism (in which I hope to have my master's degree in a couple of years).

But, then there's the apartment.
We don't have one. Do you have prospects, you ask? Why, yes. I have done copious research to find apartments that fit my very specific requirements. Benjamin has pretty much left the apartment-picking up to me, so this should be less complicated than it is. Let me list them here for simplicity:

• 2 bedrooms
• 2 bathrooms (preferable, but not necessary)
• a big kitchen (very important. What's the use of having a fantastic chef husband if there's nowhere for him to make his magic? well, that kind of magic anyway.)
• be close to Benjamin's office
• be close to major roads so I can get to work if I ever find a job
• not have freaking bugs (very important because I'm ready to pull my hair out with Waterview)
• have room in the bedroom for my theoretical vanity (since I don't actually have one yet. Benjamin thinks if we have a bedroom the size we have now, we'll be able to fit my theoretical vanity, but I want to measure to make sure.)
• a giant kitchen (I've raised my expectations in the last few minutes.)

My favorite one is a 1-story townhome. It had everything I required, but they don't have that floorplan. And we're supposedly above their income limit, so I can't have the 2-story that is available.

So, my second favorite. I called them today. The lady sounded about 60, and was so very sweet. She didn't even yell at me for not knowing that it is a "55-and-older" property. She said, in her really caring old lady voice, "You sound pretty young, though." I should have told her I'm 55.

Then there's my third favorite. They don't have the 2-bed 2-bath available until September, but they do have a 2-bed 1-bath. Yay! It's also a lot cheaper, and we don't really need the extra bathroom anyway. (We can spend that money on my vanity, and then I won't have to straighten my hair in the bathroom while Benjamin showers!) But I couldn't look at it today. I get to drive across town tomorrow and be there between 4:30 and 6:00, at which time they may or may not have the one empty apartment available to show me. And if they don't, tough luck, cause the new people are moving in Saturday.

Ok, well I'm ready to stop ranting. I know all of this is just what I have to go through to find the perfect one. Who knows, maybe my "favorites" actually stunk or had rats or something. Yes, yes, they had rats.

Grilling & Mourning

Monday afternoon I ran into Julie (literally) in Wal-Mart! She was buying brownie mix and I was renting a movie from redbox. I went to her apartment and we watched P.S. I Love You and made fun of the wanna be love interest for his "encroaching" on the main character's broken heart.

While there, I got a call from Benjamin. He & Patrick were leaving the gym, and he wanted to know if Patrick & Maya could come over & grill for dinner. I said that was fine, of course, but then made a mad dash home to make some sort of sanity out of the disheveled living room. I must have set a record. Between 6:10 and 6:50, I straightened up the living room, dusted, vacuumed, washed some dishes, swept, cleaned counters, emptied Chloe's litter box, took Monte outside, did the bare essentials of bathroom cleaning, put drinks in the little fridge, and hopped in the shower. I also put the cooler that Benjamin had taken to bridge the day before outside for him to empty (I can't tilt it on its side...sad, I know).

Then I joined them at the grill outside, where we chatted & played with Monte (he loves company). The husbands made comments about how sore they've been, while the wifes sat & watched the grilling. I must say, I'm glad hamburgers fit into this high-protein diet they've assimilated. Mmm, yummy! Then we ate by the pool & I had my much-anticipated margarita. Now, I've never gotten drunk, but that's probably the closest I've been. As soon as the guests left, I'm pretty sure I made some startling advances of a not-so-innocent nature...but I'm married so it's ok =P Whee!

BUT! We didn't bring in the ice chest before we went to bed, and the next morning it was still outside when I left. I remember thinking to myself, "We should put our name on that" but then I figured I'd just do it when I got home. Later I got a call from Benjamin asking if it was there when we left. Apparently someone stole the charcoal during the night, and then the ice chest! And we're 99% certain it was that dim-wit neighbor of ours who dinged Benjamin's new car & on whom we called the police for domestic violence. So today when his unlawful bag of trash blew over in front of our door, I left a passive-aggressive note on his door about the rudeness of allowing his trash to encroach on his neighbors' space.

I can't wait to get out of here. I've found 2 places I'm excited about checking out, but anything will be better than this - no more living on campus (though it was definitely a huge help with my overcrowded schedule), and tons more space!

I would like to go beat up that guy. But, Benjamin's not home to protect me if he decided to fight back...so I'll wait. Or more likely, I'll chicken out all together.

Spring 2008 Grades

They're here!!

Orchestra = A -
Judicial Process = A -
Chamber = A
Medical Ethics = A -
Human Sexuality = A

Wahoo!

Not so nice & innocent...

Today at work, the following conversation took place between me and my coworkers. We were each in our cubicles.

Restee: Belen?!
Belen: *whispering* Tell her I'm not over here.
Me: She's not over here.
Restee: Adriane, you're so nice and innocent.
Me: Not really, I just lied to you about Belen not being over here!
Teel: Ooo, she got you! But she lied to you very nicely!
Restee: And she sounded innocent. *comes over to me* I bet you've never done anything wrong, have you?

Girls Night

Last night I went out with Holly & Megan, while Benjamin went to a going away party for a church friend. First we went to a store with very unique shoes...I bought 2 pink pairs last year, and just recently found a dress to wear them with!

Then we went to a coffee shop called Buzz Brews, that is apparently Megan's favorite. She got a rotten new potato. I called it "stuffed"!

Then we took pictures of the semi-perverse cartoon speech bubbles outside.

Today Benjamin is in Arlington for work, to help someone move, and to build a computer. Since he is spending his day productively, I decided to do the same. So rather than exploding a computer or dropping someone's heavy furniture, I went to the gym. I haven't been in quite some time, but it makes me feel good about myself to have been a non-bum today.

School is over! However, I only have one grade. Sad :(

Orchestra: ?
Judicial Process: ?
Chamber: A
Medical Ethics: ?
Psychology: ?

Mom is having her 2nd hip replacement surgery tomorrow. She's done so great in physical therapy, that I don't think she'll have a very hard time with recovery, at least compared to the average. I won't be there for the surgery, but I'll go down to Houston on Wednesday evening.

Check out Mom's Medical Update Blog here!

My Smartification Baby

Benjamin & I were talking tonight about my upcoming graduation, and how I won't know what to do with myself once I finish. I told him that I would need to prioritize how I would continue my "smartification" (aka, graduate school, teachers certification, MT school...).

Me: I could do a masters in like 4 semesters. I just wish I could find a job that I like. I don't even mean get a job that I like, I just mean find one to apply for.
Benjamin: Yeah, I know.
Me: *pouting* Ugh, it's so hard. *hug* Can I just have a baby instead?
Benjamin: Sure, in a couple of years!
Me: Hmm, I think I could go to school for another 2 years. Sounds like a plan!

Long Time, No Post

It's been a while since I've posted, mostly because of the end-of-semester madness that comes a couple of times each year. Here are some of the things that I remember:

My violin recital went quite well. I got to wear a pretty dress, and there were no major mess-ups! Somehow, I think the fact that the hall was full actually made me less nervous. Strange how that works... But Benjamin & my dad gave me some really pretty flowers, that I've been able to arrange nicely in a vase. It's a pretty mix of dark & light pink gerber daisies (duh), pink calla lilies, and pink gladiolas. Benjamin's family, grandparents, and cousin came, along with my parents & Juliane, Julie & Derek, and Zahra & Neil. I feel I was well supported :)

I was not, however, well supported by my teacher from last semester. I got a B+ in one of my literature classes in the fall, and decided to contest the grade and request an A-. I have gone all semester under the impression that I had until finals to start the process, but really I only had 8 weeks. I met with the professor anyway, and she didn't want to change the grade. I understand that teachers have the final authority on these issues, but I feel like I should not have made an "A/B" (whatever that is) on my paper and a B- on my exam. Especially when her only complaints were things like "don't phrase it that way" and crossing out "their native country" and scribbling in "Czechoslovakia." And really especially when I speak English fluently, and...well...

I have 1 more exam tomorrow, and then I'll be finished!

This summer I'm taking 5 classes:
> Statistics (CCCC)
> Advanced Composition
> World Music
> Intro to Criminal Justice
> US History

And then I'll be finished-finished! I don't know if I'm relieved-excited or scared-excited. Luckily I don't have to decide right now...I just need to get to the point where I do.

Last night Benjamin let Chloe sleep in the bedroom instead of in her kennel in the living room. I didn't notice until I got up to get some water at 4am. So I guess she behaved herself rather well, or maybe I was just tired & didn't notice her walking on me.

It's only 4:40 and I'm ready for a nap.

I'd like to find out what I need to do to get teacher-certified without having to take classes here.

I had a yummy margarita last night, and it was yummy. I want another one today :)

Water Off in Phase III

Dear Resident(s),

Due to an unforeseen emergency repair needed within your phase, it will be necessary to shut off the water to your phase Friday, April 11, 2008, between the hours of 10:00 AM and 6:00 PM. This repair will affect hot and cold water in your apartment home. We will strive to get the water back on as quickly as possible.

Once the water has been turned back on, it is possible that it will take longer than usual for the water to run clear or heat up. Please allow the faucet to run for a few minutes to clear the line of any debris and heat to an acceptable temperature.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and thank you in advance for your cooperation in this matter. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact the information center at 972.454.5000.

Sincerely,

Waterview Office People

There have been so many stinking "unforseen emergencies" in Phase III over the past couple of month, I'm about ready to scream. I mean, back when it was about once per month, I was satisfied to attribute the inconvenience to the crappiness that is Waterview. But now, it's increased to once a week.

Two weeks ago, the water was going to be off on a Friday. A Friday! And Fridays are my cleaning/laundry/organizing/making-everything-nice-for-the-Sabbath days! Since 10am-6pm is pretty much the whole day, I was forced to fill up vases with surplus water. That way, I could at least wipe off counters & wash a couple of dishes.

So, I have just been notified that the water will be off again - this Friday. Maybe I'll do all the laundry on Thursday night. I won't be sleeping because they're having a "luau" right outside my window until all hours. Poop.

French Eskimos

I was lying on the couch with Benjamin last night & we were smooching. (Yes, married people still smooch from time to time.) Anyways, the following series of ethnically diverse events took place:

Me: Kiss?
Ben: *kisses me*
seconds pass
Ben: Eskimo kiss! *rub noses*
seconds pass
Ben: Eskimo french kiss! *licks my nose & then rubs noses*

Ok, now that I've typed it up, that looks really boring. The TV was on, though, and we were smooching =P

Women Are Retarded

In my brief moment of faith-in-human-goodness, I posted a question on Yahoo Answers. Hoping to receive some sort of positive support to my ongoing search for birth control without being man-handled (ie, traditional pelvic exam), I checked back a few hours later. As you can see from the following oh-so-educated responses, people were eager to respond. And not nicely, either. Therefore, I have a new thesis: Women are not, as we previously believed, nurturing, as a rule. They are, to a notable degree, self-sure without cause, belligerent to other women, and outright annoying. And lest there be any further attack, I lump myself in with the rest of them from time to time. Let this be my (and our) motivation to break the vicious, Women-Are-Retarded cycle.

Go to the Yahoo Answers page here! It's formatted better. Answers are open until Thursday.

************************************************************

My Question
Are there doctors that offer birth control pills without a pelvic exam? I'm married & have never had a pelvic exam. I got a BC prescription from Planned Parenthood through their HOPE program, but that's only for a year. I'm coming up on the end of the prescription, and I desperately do not want a traditional exam. I feel like it would be an invasion of my privacy, and since I've only had sex with my husband (and he with me) and have no family risk factors, I see no reason for this to be a requirement.
Does anyone know of a doctor that will offer birth control without a pelvic exam? I'm belonephobic (afraid of needles), but I would rather have a blood test to check for health issues than violate my personal beliefs.
I live in north Texas, but if there's a doctor somewhere else that offers other options to women, there are probably others. Please help!

************************************************************

Blondie 2442's Response
im 18 and my doctor just gave them to me without one

My Response
Thanks for the response. Knowing this let's me know that several of the below responses were ill-researched. What doofuses.


Coop <3's Response
A pap smear has nothing to do with how many people you've had sex with. It has to do with checking for irregular cells on your cervix, which are not only caused by STDs. So, guess what, you get to suck it up, and be a responsible ADULT and get yourself to a gynecologist like you should have a LONG time ago. A blood test cannot check for irregular cells on your cervix, so you've just got to go do it. If you want to be a sexually active adult, regardless of whether you're married or not, you need to be responsible for your sexual and reproductive health, or, IMO, you are not in any way ready to be sexually active, sorry. Your discomfort won't mean crap if you get cervical cancer someday, and you realize that it could have been prevented by a simple pelvic exam.

Source(s): I'm a married woman who is a STRONG advocate of women taking control of their own health, regardless of how "uncomfortable" a pelvic exam is. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-... http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-...

My Response
A pap smear has 90% to do with how many people you've had sex with!!! The #1 cause of cervical cancer is HPV, and the #1 cause of harmful HPV is through sexual contact!

I would like to challenge some of your premises, because you see so sure of yourself:
- "You get to suck it up, and be a responsible adult" - You don't get to tell me what I get to do. You get to run as fast as you can & stop commenting on my questions.
- "get your self to a gynecologist like you should have done a long time ago" - I'm 21! Back off.
- "A blood test cannot check for irregular cells on your cervix" - No, but it can check for an elevated white count, which is present if you have cancer!
- "So you've just got to go do it" - You sure think a lot of your instructions, dontcha?
- "Your discomfort won't mean crap if you get cervical cancer someday" - Sure it will. I've made a conscious choice, dumbass.
- "it could have been prevented by a simple pelvic exam" - No it can't. Cervical cancer can't even be detected fully until it's somewhat advanced. Since when did going to the doctor guarantee someone wouldn't die?

You say you're a strong advocate for women taking control of their own health. I guess what you meant to say is that you're a strong advocate of forcing your opinion about other women's health upon them, and having them let you take control of their health. It's a simple mistake, anyone could have made it.


GreenScreen451's Response
No doctor can force you to have a pelvic exam. I think most would give you the prescription without if you are adamant that you do not want the exam. It might be a good idea though, just to check that everything is alright. It's really not that bad.

My Response
You're right. This is something I wish people would consider before insisting that I am under some sort of health care dictatorship. I appreciate your advice. I will keep this in mind because you are not being a poop.


Hannah's Response
Ask a doctor or someone from a clinic whether you'll need it.! =] Where I am I didnt need one. I needed to be weighed every 6 months and asked a few questions.x

My Response
Awesome! This is very helpful.


WhitneyB's Response
Doctors are required to perform pelvic exams before administering birth control. Even if you have no family risk factors and have only had one partner, problems can still occur. I understand your wanting to protect your privacy, but many of the issues doctors look for in a pelvic exam cannot be detected with a blood test. I prefer to see a female OB/GYN. It's never comfortable for me (I too feel an invasion of privacy with the exam), but at least she is efficient and gentle. If you are truly adamant about not undergoing this exam and do not wish to conceive at this time, your best bet is to use condoms.

My Response
Well, at least you were pleasant, so I can't fault you with anything but being stupid. If I wanted to know if doctors are required to do the test, I would have put that in my question. They're not, which means that you spent too much time submitting to the system and finding someone who "is efficient and gentle" (whatever that means) instead of researching & finding a way to change the social norm. My best bet is not to use condoms. If my point is I don't want foreign crap inside of me, that includes the latex to which I am allergic.


WhoKnows?????????'s Response
first of all the doctor does the pelvic exam for your health. It doesn't have to do with the sexual parteners you have. the problem is that some people may suffer from certain conditions without knowing like endometriosis, or ovarian cysts, and when you take the birth control pills these will make them a lot worse. so the doctor does the pelvic exam for your safety. i did it, there are no needles invovled nothing, he will insert a plastic to see the inside of vagina etc. to see that there are no scarring. So if I were you i would do it, especially if you are going to take the birth control pills for a long time.

Source(s): studying to become a doctor

My Response
Wow, you're studying to become a doctor? Yesterday I was studying to become an astronaut. If you'd like me to give you some advice on launching yourself into outer space (it's "for your health") let me know. I'm just saying, I think there's a reason they give you the short coat. And yes, genius, it does have to do with how many sexual partners you've had. And I know there are no needles. And if you want to be a doctor, you still have to know how to comprehend what you read & spell correctly. If a doctor wants to amputate your leg, I'm sure he would say that's for your safety, too. You still have options. So while I appreciate the paragraph you've quoted from you're MCAT study guide, I'd appreciate it more if you would can it until you can present some irrefutable facts.


AW's Response
Suck it up. You are a big girl. Cancer and other health issues can develop at ANY time in your life even if you have NO risk factors. I just found out a friend of a friend who is 45 years old was given 2 months to live TOPS due to cancer. He had no previous problems, he had absolutely no family history of any kinds of cancers. Exams are also to prevent future problems not just know what you have done. You have a severe phobia about this. What is going to happen when you have children? Are you going to refuse to go to the doctor because you feel that a doctor looking there is an invasion of your privacy? That is disgusting, quite frankly, that you would risk the lives of possible future children along with your own.

My Response
You're just being a jerk. How do you know I'm a big girl? I'm actually a little girl who would like her mommy to punch you. I bet your friend would not have gotten cancer & would still be alive in 3 months if he had gone to his gynecologist every year before he took his birth control pills. Right? Cite relevant anecdotes only, please. If you need a support group to deal with your friend's death, don't take it out on my question. Given that you have the authority to diagnose my "severe phobia about this" (by the way, the appropriate preposition is "of") you should be able to deal with your grief without taking stage 2 out on me. Actually, except for a torn hymen a doctor can't tell what you've done. Since you seem so interested in what goes into & comes out of my vagina, my husband & I have decided to have our children at a birthing center or at home. Midwives & doctors at birthing centers allow a more natural process without the social requirements and restrictions to which you seem so attached. I prefer not to risk the lives of my "potential future children" by stabbing them with amniocentesis needles and exposing them to the HPV vaccine. Doctors say those are good, too.


ChellB's Response
All I can say it is so important to get pap/pelvic exam done. I knew a woman that waited till she was 30 to get a pap done and found out she has stage 4 cervical cancer. she is no longer living. I don't know any doc that would not do an exam first.

My Response
I appreciate your opinion. It is important to consider the potential complications of a decision such as this. After thinking about all of the harm, I've made up my mind that I would prefer to take the chance on cancer. I'm also sorry for your loss of a friend. I'm sure she didn't get to make the same conscious decision as I have.


DX's Response
Yes. While many doctors do require the pelvic exam, some will now prescribe BCP without it. Go to another Planned Parenthood, or call the one you're visiting now and explain the situation. Most PPs will give you the pills to protect yourself. If not, talk to your family doctor.

You should know that cervical cancer can affect anyone, regardless of family risk factors and can be a very nasty customer. If you're fully aware of this possibility and still don't want the full exam, try to get yourself the HPV vaccine, at least. If you're forced to take the exam to get the pills, you can also ask them to only do the Pap and test for HPV and leave out the rest.

I currently take BCP but I do not go for pelvic exams. I am NOT sexually active, have no plans to be, and I take the pill for endometriosis. I get my weight and blood pressure checked every six months to ensure everything's in order. I did get an exam two years ago--under sedation because I am an abuse survivor and it was such a traumatic experience--and was found to be fine and HPV negative, so I'm not considered to be at risk.

Source(s): current experience with BCP

My Response
I think this is the most helpful response. It came about 5 hours ago, and I would have slept a lot better had I read it last night. I won't get the HPV vaccine because I won't get any vaccine. They make you sick before they make you better. I will try another PP and hope for good results.

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How sad, that we have become so blind as to accept a medical practice simply because it has become customary.